a Reciprocal Exchange

feet first

2011-01-10T13:37:00.004-06:00

It was over three years ago now that I jumped into the blogging world and today I'm stepping back out. It has been a good way to give others the opportunity to keep track of our lives and in some ways I've enjoyed it. I don't know that I would describe myself as a writer, but I do like to write. I think it is the sense of responsibility and the regularity of maintaining a blog that puts me off. When an idea strikes me or I'm working on a something I care about I'm drawn in and the words flow. At points this happened with the blog, but it wasn't the norm.

So, as I say goodbye here are my final thoughts:

I'm reading an excellent book, which has been deeply encouraging. I don't know if it is some of what is happening in life or if I would have gotten this much out of this book anytime I'd have read it. Spurgeon is both witty, wise, and intimately familiar with Christ and his ways. At different points I've laughed, cried, been encouraged, challenged, and felt God speaking to me.

As you can see Wesley is growing and we are glad for the little boy he is becoming. He is a baby no longer. This is the first week where he's been fully healthy since mid-December, so that has been nice. The down side is that Hillary is sick and has had some sort of illness for the past few weeks. She told me that her perseverance is running out and I can appreciate where she's coming from. Life is pretty full for me as I preach twice this month and I set up the youth calendar from now until June in the next week or so. If you've been keeping up with our blog and would like to know how to stay in touch please contact me us and we'll make sure you get our newsletters.

To close things down here's a quote from Ecclesiastes that I love. It wraps up that enigmatic and beautiful book so well: Of making many books there is no end, and much study is weariness of the flesh. The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.

NYC

2010-12-13T12:04:00.004-06:00

Saturday I took a group of teens from our church to hang out in New York for the day and it was exciting. We just made our train from New Haven to Grand Central and same thing on the way back. That morning I told them that whenver I go to New York there is at least one train that I catch just before it leaves the station. I'm kind of used to this, but hopefully it wasn't too stressfull for them. In describing our trip I'll use the first three leters of the alphabet to tell the story...
A: A is for active. Even though I expect the amount of activity in New York it still surprises me. There is so much of everything and it is always in motion. This was the first time there for some of our teens and at points they were definitely overwhelmed. Asking one of the girls on the way home what she thought of it, she responded with uncertainty. Sometimes it is hard to know what to make of the relentlesness of the city. I can see how it could wear you down.
B: B is for beautiful. Above you see some of us standing in this little enclave just off 5th avenue where there are tables and chairs scattered under trees with this beautiful waterfall in the background. The water runs down over uneven stones so that is sounds just like water cascading down rocks in a hidden area of the woods. Everywhere we went there were subtle and overwhelming scenes of beauty, and we only saw a tiny portion of the city. One of the most important things to remember when I think about beauty and New Yor is the people. Everyone you rush by is an actual person with families, friends, joys, sorrows, and stories. When you put all these people together, you see something greater than this little waterfall. New York would be terrifying with no people.
C: C is for commerce. It was interesteing to see the line outside of FAO Schwartz, the iconic toystore, the was four people across and wrapped around to the back of the block. There was also the line outside of the UGG store, Holister, and maybe some other ones. This is somewhat to be expected when you go down 5th Avenue around Christmas time, but it is interesting to stop and think how many people come to New York just to buy things. There is this incredible ammount of commerce that is happening every single moment of every single day. This isn't inherently bad because economies involve buying and selling goods. What if all the people coming to New York to shop for a day or days, did something else? What if everyone came into New York to clean the city, improve the urban landscape, color with sidewalk chalk, partner with non-profits and other service agencies? This isn't to lament or denigrate shopping, because I bought my wife Christmas presents, but maybe another way of looking at things.

Falling behind and ridding the wave...

2010-12-07T08:03:00.005-06:00

So, the past two weeks I've been putting off blogging, somewhat out of busyness and also because I'm not sure what to write. Here's the laundry list of what's been happening:

-Hillary and I took four people from church to a counseling conference (Nov 14-17) and we're working on further developing our counseling ministry team. This was an important trip to solidify what we've begun and it will be neat to see what happens as we move into the new year.

-We went away for a night to the Dorset inn (see pic by kidgrifter) where we celebrated five years of marriage. It was wonderful.

-I've turned thirty while spending time with family and friends over Thanksgiving break. It was great to have time with my parents and extended family. Wesley especially enjoyed himself.

-I've worked on plans and goals for ministry in the upcoming year. It has been good to prayerfully create specific objectives that I can work towards in my different areas of responsibility. The biggest challenge will be doing what I've committed to.

-I've finished a great book, Culture Making by Andy Crouch and am processing the thoughts.

-I've had significant conversations about the gospel with individuals who don't believe it yet. This is very exciting and I see some neat opportunities on the horizon.

-We've had lots of people in our home. Hillary threw a surprise party for me this Saturday and 3oish people came by. We continue to enjoy having neighbors, friends, and people from church in our home. Two Sunday's ago we had about eight teens over for lunch and discussion of 1 Timothy 5. It was a delight to be together and to be challenged by the truths of God's word.

-For the next few weeks, life at church is somewhat low key, but then there is a wave that will take me into the new year and we'll have to see where it goes. There is a ministry opportunity at a local college campus and it could be just a small ripple or something much bigger. In talking with the leaders at the church the thought is that I take the surfer approach and start paddling with the wave. If it is a big one, then it will take me and I'll ride it. If not, we'll see soon enough and turn around to paddle out to another wave.

When the Christmas music begins...

2010-11-22T19:48:00.004-06:00

Hillary and I were talking about when you start playing the Christmas music and we both agreed that it begins after Thanksgiving. Then, as I was reading in my office today and was getting sleepy I put on some music through Pandora (an Internet radio service). I didn't like the music on the station I was on, so my hand drifted and before I knew it I had selected the Christmas station. When I told Hillary tonight, she said how she'd been wanting to listen to Christmas music as well, and it is on in the background right now. A close friend of mine actually starts listening in late October!
This is an exciting time of year and I'm looking forward to turning my focus towards the coming of the child/king Jesus Christ. I heard one author refer to the incarnation as the "glorious impossibility." It is mind blowing to think of God taking on flesh. There are readings that I go through each year at advent and it is good for my soul to walk that same path year in and out. Following God's story from the beginning of the Hebrew Scriptures through the prophets to the birth of Jesus and then beyond is a wonderful journey on which to participate.

The beautiful end of fall

2010-11-10T08:57:00.004-06:00

On Monday, I was in New Haven meeting with one of our community group leaders over lunch and as I left the parking garage there was this stuffing view of blue skies and the profile of the city. Then yesterday Hillary was raking and Wesley was romping in the leaves. With the blue sky, the bright green grass, and the various yellows and browns of the leaves it made me glad for fall. This week has been a little nuts with different meetings and getting things sorted for a conference I'm headed to this weekend. Six of us from church are headed to a counseling Conference down in VA on marriage. It should be a great time of learning, refreshment, and hopefully direction for the counseling ministry at our church. My parents will have Wesley for a few days while we're gone, so it should be an exciting adventure for all.
For the past few months I've continued to think a lot about leadership. It is on my mind more and more, and I wish that I had more to say so far. The big conslusions, are that it is difficult and I can't avoid it. I will be a good leader or a bad leader, but regardless, I will lead. God is definitely refining me and I need to see what he wants me to see. I'm glad that my worth and identity are in Christ, not in my success, progress, or achievements.

back in Delaware

2010-11-02T09:18:00.002-05:00

Twelve years ago as a Freshman in college I arrived at the university of Delaware and had no idea I would end up where I am. This weekend I was back in the area for a missions conference at the church I attended through college. It was both fun and a little strange to step back into that world, now that I'm at a totally different place in life. Thinking about my connection to E.P. (Evangelical Presbyterian - the name of the church) there are a few things that come to mind:
-a place of training and development: EP is the first church that I was really connected to as an adult and they took a lot of time to train and develop me. When I first attended there I had no idea what a Presbyterian church was and had a very slim understanding of theology. There were all sorts of people who taught me and then gave me opportunities to use what I had learned. In retrospect I see how important this investment was.
-a place of direction and support: Between my Jr. and Sr. years at college I had a summer internship working with the teenagers at E.P. It was through this time and subsequent conversations that I ended up heading to seminary and then into ministry. There were all sorts of precursors to this decision, but it was the experience of working for the church that helped bring it all together. Then when I went to seminary and eventually came to New England the church was there to help make it happen. Even being there this past weekend I feel like there was guidance that I was able to receive so that I can better serve here in CT.
-a place of friendship: Coming back, after twelve years of being connected it is great to run into people I've known and been loved by over the years. Those long term relationships mean a lot, and it is refreshing to be around people who knew me in my college years.

bicycles and hitting the downhills

2010-10-25T13:36:00.003-05:00

Wesley has hit Christmas a little early early this year since we got him (and us) a child's bicycle seat. We figured it'd be silly to wait until December when it is too cold and icy to ride, so we've been enjoying it the past few weeks. We keep the bikes and seat ready to go in our SUV since we have the space and our garage is occupied with materials for my climbing wally. So far Wesley seems to like the box most of all. It forms an awesome tunnel to craw through and a formidable tower to smash and knock over. Hillary and I have definitely enjoyed the times we've been able to take him out for rides, though it is a little different getting used to the weight distribution near the back of the bicycle. With him on the bike I cruise even faster on the downhills, but I need to be even more in control.
With ministry as of late I feel like it is an interesting mix of terrain. Sometime I'm peddling hard to make it up a long incline and am surprised to find that it evens out sooner than I thought. At other points I think I get to cruise and instead it is a long uphill push. At our prayer meeting last night one of the people praying was referring to Isaiah 6 where Isaiah says, "Here I am. Send me." She confessed that for a while she had been saying, "I'm here..." non-chalantly and had a growing sense that she must say, "Here I am!" I could identify with what she said and I think God has been teaching me to be more deliberate and purposeful in my work. I've been thinking more and more about leadership and have been asking God to lead me to be a leader. I think he is taking me along that path.

undoing prejudice

2010-10-18T13:11:00.002-05:00

It is really easy to get frustrated when road work or similar public works projects take longer than expected. But as I think about my home projects, especially building this climbing wall in my garage, it makes perfect sense. I've had my second three hour set of construction (with others helping of course) and progress is painfully slow. I'm not handy and this is more complicated than I thought it would be - yikes!
This kinda relates to the idea of prejudice but not really. Some it has to do with looking down on others as inept or "less," when I am lenient with myself when the same things happen. The reason prejudice is on my mind, is the sermon our pastor preached yesterday. James 2:1-4 talks about favoring the rich over the poor and when you look more intently at your life you can see all this preferential treatment that you extend to others, based on what you value. It is one thing to identify prejudice in your life and a whole other to root it out. I've been thinking as to how Jesus undoes the prejudices within us all. While a lot of things came to mind, here are the two big ones.
First, he undoes our need for prejudice. We look down on others to lift ourselves up. When we know the love Jesus has for us, despite being undeserving, we don't need to make our way up in the world by stepping on others. Second, he gives us a common object of love. When we are loved by God we love him in return. One of things that unites people is a common love. Random people in a football stadium can experience a deep sense of unity and oneness as the cheer for the same team. and a few things come to mind. Instead of loving ourselves, our position, our power, reputation, or all other sorts of things we love God and this love will unite us with all sorts of other people who love the same God.

Babie and Apples

2010-10-12T10:34:00.003-05:00

Last week, over the course of about 72 hours there were three babies born to families in our church. It was a fun and exciting time checking my email and seeing announcements of names, weights, lengths, and gender continue coming in. Since our Sr. Pastor is out of town teaching I got to do the visits with the families and it has been fun. In the midst of the various birthings we also ended up with the two year old son from one of the families. We were planning on going apple picking that day so we took him along, and he and Wesley had a blast. They both loved yanking the apples off the trees - we ended up picking ~30lbs. I started munching on one of the apples I picked and the boys both wanted some, so I bit off the skin and let them give it a try. They were both liked biting the apple and kept getting closer and closer to me as they wanted to eat more the apple. It was a great time. The rest of the week was pretty nuts, between a youth overnight, preaching on Sunday, and visiting mom's in the hospital. I'm glad that this week is going to be more low key.

NYC, Boston... Paris, Milan...

2010-10-04T09:51:00.003-05:00

This was a week of city hopping for Hillary as she was in NY on Wednesday and Boston on Friday and Saturday. I was joking with her about where she would be next week and we agreed it should be Paris, Milan, and Barcelona. Hillary went to New York with my mom and sister to see wicked (her birthday present). Then the two of us were in Boston for a conference called, "From Embers to a Flame," which focused on church revitalization. So here's the summary of our experiences:
1. Hillary liked Boston more than New York (it was interesting to visit both in the same week) and we could see ourselves in Boston at some point in life. Who knows whether it will happen, but Saturday was an amazing fall day and the church hosting the conference was right on Boston Common.
2. Revitalizing churches is just as important as starting new ones. This seems kinda obvious, but I learned a lot about this concept of revitalization and it gave me a lot to think about.
3. Wesley generally behaves well when we leave him with others. This was our first time away together since we had Wesley and it went well. We need to do this again, except go away for vacation and not a conference.
4. There were about 20 of us at this conference from our church and it will be great to get together and process all the different things we were learning about. There were various points for reflection interspersed between the teaching sessions and I'm looking forward to hear what other people learned and how we can synthesize this into a coherent whole so we can move forward as a church.

a parade of children

2010-09-28T10:12:00.002-05:00

We had a combined community group at our house and this is the procession of the ten children meandering down the road towards the playground at the end of our block. We had stragglers at the back and fast walkers at the front, so it took some work to keep everyone together, but it was good. Before they left and after they returned it was pretty nuts with all of them milling around the house. I wasn't watching Wesley at one point and he reached up on the table and grabbed some chili-lime cashews. They have quite a kick, so one of the other moms grabbed him, but that was after he had already downed a few. He just drank some milk and was okay, but it's probably a little early to be itroducing him to the pleasures of spicy foods. It was fun to have all the people in our home, and it is pushing me to do more thinking about the nature of community groups with families. At what point do we shift how we do things to include the children in the "spiritual" aspects of our meeting?

back and building

2010-09-22T12:45:00.003-05:00

So we had a great time in the mid-west visiting supporters and friends in St. Louis and Nashville. We got back on Friday night and are still readjusting. On the way home Wesley was awakw for 9.5hours, which was totally nuts. He's getting back on schedule and both of us are resuming the things we normally do. It is great to get back into a routine.

There were a lot of great things about being away and I'll mention two. First, it was neat to encourage people about what God has been doing in having us here in CT. Second, as various people asked us about our life and what we see God doing, it was a great opporutnity to reflect. There's lots more I could say, but I'll leave it at that.

In addition to builing stuff back up at church, I'm also building a climbing wall in our garage. You can see some of the equipment that just came in the mail. I'm excited It should happen Saturday!

On the road again

2010-09-13T13:42:00.004-05:00

We're more than half way through our trip visiting ministry supporters and friends in the mid-west. It is somewhat of a flash back to three years ago when we started this adventure. We have had a lot of coffees and lunches then gave a brief report at our former church in St. Louis. Today we're in Nashville, getting our bearings and then meeting with a group of supporters tomorrow night. It has been a lot of fun to see people and places from different points in life, but it is also wearying. We haven' t had a normal day for since last Tuesday and it is catching up. I'm noticing the meagreness of my patience when I don't get regular time with God and when my schedule is all over the place. As we've been able to reflect on this trip we're continuing to gain perspective on our role in CT and refining our thoughts on how to best connect with supporters. We are glad that we have this opportunity to thank those who have partnered with us in ministry and to encourage them that God is at work in New England.

Time away and then again

2010-09-06T19:50:00.004-05:00

We went down to my parents house for a long weekend and got back Sunday night. It was relaxing. Thursday, while Hillary was with college friends and my parents were working I took two naps (one in the morning and one after lunch with my grand pop). It was amazing. I can't remember the last time I've had two naps in one day. Besides the luxury of napping, it was good to have time with my family and they enjoyed having us (especially Wesley) there. He went on wagon rides, played in the pool, ran through the sprinkler, jumped on a trampoline, was pushed in the swing, ate ice cream, and had all sorts of extra attention. Sometimes when I go away it is hard to leave work behind and even when I do, I don't necessarily relax. This time I was able to do both. I worked on a few things, but wasn't preoccupied. The only thing I would have liked to play out differently was more time with God. There were some great lulls in the activity where I could read or pray, but there were many points where I was disconnected from that reality.
This week we're heading to St. Louis and Nashville to follow up with supporters from the past three years. We're looking forward to the trip, but a little apprehensive as we think about Wesley's schedule and how that will be affected by travel and a time zone change. Another aspect that is a little strange is that we'll be missing church for the second Sunday in a row. With so much of our focus directed towards our away it is easy to feel disconnected from life in West Hartford. Teens started school last week and it will be another two weeks till I see many of them and hear how it has gone. I wonder how it is for God who sees all these different places and times happening, yet it is all integrated into one whole. My life can be so disjointed at points yet his is seamless, fully integrated, into one masterful picture. It is hard, as a created being, to think of the ways of creator.

two weeks off...

2010-08-30T20:46:00.004-05:00

...but it wasn't all vacation. I've been derelict in writing on our blog so here's a brief update on the past two weeks. August 16th-21st we were on vacation. We left Monday morning for the RI beaches and came back early Friday morning (more about that later). We stayed at a bed & breakfast in North Kingston for three nights then camped out one evening at a State Park further south. There are fun pictures of Wesley playing on the beach, learning how to jump, and enjoying the tent, but we haven't uploaded those yet. It was nice to get away and Wesley definitely enjoyed himself. There were aspects of it which were fun and relaxing for us, but at certain points it was hard having Wesley there. It worked out well with the bed and breakfast we stayed at, as they had a small farm with chickens, goats, and a friendly dog. The primary challenge was the attention Wesley required and secondary part was the disappointment we experienced over some of the things we would have liked to have done as a couple, but couldn't do as a family.
The reason we returned so early Friday morning is that Wesley got up at 5am when we were camping. The sun hadn't risen, but we needed to take him somewhere where he wouldn't wake up others in the campground. In the twilight I took him over to the playground and as we were playing he looked to the east and started pointing. The sun was rising a brilliant red and as it came over the horizon a front end loader was silhouetted against it. I wasn't sure if he was pointing to the rising sun or the construction equipment, but either way he was happy.
After getting back and working a few days, Hillary and I went to the Pilot Penn Tennis Tournament at Yale. It is one of the tournaments that helps players warm up for the US Open. Hillary has been to many tournaments, but this was my first one and was lots of fun. It was a grey chilly day and up in the stands we needed coffee to stay warm (even with our jackets on). These two trips were a nice end to the summer, but we're not exactly ready for everything that comes with the fall.

God cares about me and my cell phone

2010-08-11T09:43:00.002-05:00

When I can't find my cell phone charger I go through the various rooms of our house flipping the lights on and looking at all of the outlets to see where I most recently plugged it in. After I've looked at the outlet behind the couch, under the living room chair, and the few other odd places it might be and still can't find it, I start to pray. Monday night I was on my knees peering under our coffee table looking for the charger and when I couldn't find it I figured that I would ask God for help while I was on my knees. I got up afterwards and as I was headed to look elsewhere I remembered a CD that I wanted to grab from the stereo. As I looked for it, I found my charger sitting on top of the CD player and thanked God. This may seem coincidental but this process of searching, praying, and finding regularly repeats itself with my cell phone charger and other objects that I misplace (Mp3 player, watch, blue-tooth etc). It amazes me that Jesus came to this earth and suffered so that I could be in relationship with God and come to him about these things I keep misplacing. Wow.

Time outside

2010-08-02T15:22:00.004-05:00

The past few days it has been cooler and it has been wonderful to be outside. We had family friends in town and visited Elizabeth Park (beautiful gardens) and Hillstead (a house/museum with sprawling grounds). We had a wonderful time together and being out and about inspired me to spend more time outside this week. So today I went by Hillstead after a meeting and was able to read, write, and pray while sitting under the shade of an old tree. In the midst of the summer heat I can forget the enjoyment, creativity, and energized thinking I experience when I work outside. Even listening to NPR this morning as I drove to work there was a report about companies incorporating gardens into the landscapes of their campuses and the beneficial effect on workers. This is something good to think about.

Wesley is continuing to grow up and is looking more and more like a little boy. He is no longer a baby. This is somewhat sad at points, but I like kids more than babies and it is all part of the process. We are having lots of fun together and look forward to my mom coming up this weekend. We continue to have fuller weekends and slower weeks and this is a nice change for the summer.

teaching prayer and an amazing sandwich

2010-07-27T10:35:00.004-05:00

I've been reading this book the past month or two and just finished it yesterday. Hughes Oliphant Old, which is quite a name, opens up a wealth of information on leading in prayer. You can tell that he has read and thought deeply about public prayer. This books is historical, theological, and highly practical. He looks at the different ways we pray in church and provides a deep analysis of each and then prayers that he has written based off of his studies. What strikes me is both the depth and simplicity with which he composes these prayers. His prayers are not particularly long or drawn out but in their sum cover so much of human life as seen through the lens of the scriptures. This book has shown the path to a deeper practice of prayer and encouraged me to walk down it.
Yesterday i went to Nardelli's a well known deli in CT to meet with a college student who was in our youth group. They asked if I wanted the foot long or the half sandwich, and being a hungry guy, I ordered the foot long without hesitation. I'm not sure the picture to the right does the sandwich justice. It is about four inches wide, four inches tall and a foot long. It is a serious undertaking to try and eat one of these! I was pleasantly full after eating half, so I had the other half for dinner.

moving fast

2010-07-20T09:20:00.003-05:00

This past Thursday through Saturday I was hiking with teens in the White Mountains of NH and it was awesome. You can see us on the summit of Mt. Madison. I love being above the tree line. The views are amazing, the wind is always blowing, and it is much cooler. It's fun to have a hat and long sleeve shirt and be just warm enough when at first your sweating like crazy as you hike through the woods for the first few miles. We were able to get up to the summit and back down before the weather got nasty. A neat aspect of this year's trip was our focus on Psalm 19. It starts out, "The heavens declare the glory of God and the skies proclaim the work of his hands..." We read this a few times during the trip and had a great time talking about the reality of God's beauty and power streaming through what he has made. There were no major injuries, we all ate well, and got back there and back in a reasonable amount of time. It was an energizing trip.

As I was thinking about hiking up mountains and trying to keep people moving, it reminded me of this photo of Wesley. There is a special setting on my camera to take pictures of "fast moving children" and as you can see, it isn't very effective! He is on the go al ot and we enjoy it. He loves playing in the pool, throwing balls, and is just starting to sit down with books by himself. He especially likes the ones with pictures of household objects and the corresponding words. He'll point at forks, spoons, bread, tables, bathtubs and we'll tell him what he's pointing at. It is lots of fun.

Off to the mountains

2010-07-12T15:06:00.002-05:00

This week is one of my favorites for the summer because I'll take some of our teens hiking in the White Mountains of NH. I'm not sure what it is, but there is something wonderfully freeing and sometimes almost intoxicating about being in wild places. The summit of Mt. Washington is pretty busy and built up because you can drive there or take a rail car up the mountain. Otherwise, there are miles of trails to wander. You'll pass other groups of hikers now and then but often it's just us and the trees. I'll put up some pictures next week and tell a story or two.

Singing at the Old State House

2010-07-06T14:33:00.003-05:00

Can you imagine 80 teenagers in purple shirts swaying, clapping, and singing gospel music on the steps of Connecticut's Old State House? This is the scene from last Thursday as we concluded the Hartford Project in the center of the city. It was a beautiful day as the other 200 of us watched, gave out free water, and chatted with passersby. Starting Sunday night 18 churches partnered to display the free love of Jesus through words and deeds in the city of Hartford. There were nine from our church and it was an amazing time. We all stayed at South Church, a big old church on Main Street. We would spend the days partnering with different churches and service organizations throughout the city. We'd also have times of worship, teaching, and had the luxury of showering once during the trip. It was powerful to see God working in and through so many teenagers and it gives me great hope of what he will accomplish long term in the city of Hartford. Each year we encourage teens to ask God if one day he would have him be a part of his work in this city.

If only ten percent say yes each year, that could have a profound impact over time. Here are a few of my favorite points during the week: Watching our teens hand out bibles during the street fair we ran brought me such joy. They enjoyed passing God's word onto others and interacted with those who came to the booth in a meaningful way. We took a long and a brief prayer walk and had good times of prayer through the week. The first prayer walk was challenging due to it's length, but all of our times in prayer were rewarding. One of our teens spoke one evening of how God was teaching him through the week. It was a wonderful testimony to God's free love. We played tag at a beautiful rose garden in the city on our final night. It was so much fun and I think we saw God's beauty, not only in creation, but also as we enjoyed each other. There is so much more to tell, but God worked in wonderful ways.

unAnchored

2010-06-21T08:02:00.004-05:00

Two weekends ago my sister stayed with us to help me care for Wesley while Hillary was with family. We visited Celebrate West Hartford, which like a town fair. There was face painting and since there was now way Wesley would sit still for that he got an anchor tattoo. Looking back, this has been a month where we've felt as if we're moving all over the place. Family has been in town, Hillary has gone on vacation and visited family. I'm gearing up for our annual missions trip with our teens and then we're off to the Poconos for a few days of vacation. It has hard to imagine it slowing down, though I know that time will come.
While all this is happening there have been times where we are deeply anchored despite the activity. I've been reading through 1st John and in there I keep running into the theme of "abiding:" abiding in Jesus, his love, his commandments, and the opposite, abiding in death, the ways of the devil, indifference, and hatred. Even amidst busyness and stress there are times when we have been abiding, in a right way, and it has made all the difference. I want to grow in abiding, not just because it helps me deal with life, but because I love God and it is what he deserves. That is a huge idea to unpack, because often we think of what we deserve and are owed. Thinking about what God is owed helps me all the unanchored times in perspective. This isn't some wooden legal sort of things but the dynamics of a real relationship. Maybe I'll write more in the future.

diverse scolding

2010-06-15T08:34:00.003-05:00

Our church has community groups where people who live in a local area get together on a Sunday night to spend time together, talk about the sermon, and pray for each other. This Sunday night we had people from two groups at our home and Hillary related this neat interaction. Fabi, from Nicaragua, and her son (7yrs old) were there early and he was exploring and playing with different toys. Another woman who is Ukranian arrived a little later with her son (2yrs old). Both of these boys were getting into things they shouldn't have and one mother was scolding in Spanish while the other mom was scolding her son in Ukranian. It was a neat picture of life in the body of Christ. We come from different places but have similar difficulties and are working towards the same ends.

The splash park - part of Wesley's daily regimen

2010-06-07T12:21:00.005-05:00

Wesley's usual day: sleep, eat, play, eat, splash park, sleep eat, play, eat sleep. In the past week and a half that it has been open we've gone pretty much every day and Wesley enjoys it more each time. At first he would only stick his hand into the smallest jet of water shooting out of he ground. Now he goes in face first, mouth open, as he dashes around the area, running right into the jets of water and even braving the purple tunnel which sprays you from all directions. This park is about a block and a half from our house so it is super convenient and we've had so much fun taking him there. We usually get pretty wet when we go because he'll want to be picked up every now and then or he'll get knocked over by another child running around and need to be held. This past week was my (Jarrett's) first night on my own with Wesley as Hillary traveled with a friend to Newport, RI to get a little break. It was good for Hillary to be away and I enjoyed my time with Wesley. This week I'll have another two nights on my own with Wesley. Fortunately my sister will be in town, so that will help. I'm looking forward to the time spent together, but a little cautious as to how it will all work out. We are heading into a busy few weeks as school winds down and summer begins. This is an exciting, but stressful time for teens as they transition from the challenging finals season to the relaxation of summer. I need to do my best to care for them well.

Demons, and I'm not strange

2010-05-24T13:37:00.003-05:00

It was my sophomore year of college and I was taking a history class focusing on the time of the protestant reformation (just fulfilling gen. ed. requirements). At the beginning of the class the professor asked the class what we believed in, or some question like that. It was a broad question designed to reveal the way we looked at life and then help compare our worldview with a person living in the 1500's. There were various respones from the class and one of the guys said, "angels and demons." I recognized him from a Christian orginzation on campus and though I agreed with him theoretically, I couldn't help but smile to think that someone really believes in angels and demons. Saying it outloud in the class room setting almost seemed ridiculous and my response revealed my own unbelief in something the bible clearly teaches. Even as you read this, you may think I'm a little wierd. I probably would have to, at certain points in life.

Now, fastforward nine years and the reality of the demonic is something I can't get away from. I'm still working on a very practical belief in angels and how they fit into the story of God and his people, but I'm convinced about the demonic. This has been a process, that has been solidified through learning, faith, and experience. As I've continued growing in Christ and serving him I'm seeing more and more of the dark side of the spiritual world. While this came up some in seminary, it has been my time in New England and my three weeks in Africa, where I've run into this the most.

When people talk about the demonic we can tend to think of wierd supernatural stuff like we see in the movies. This is a part of it, but there is also the subtle deception, accusation, and slander that come from the devil and his minions. What I'm trying to do is fit these different pieces together. Right now I'm reading a book (see picture) on the demonic and it has been very interesting. Though I don't agree with the author on everything he is helping me pull together things that I have observed, but not realized, and then connect this to what we see in the bible.

hungry?

2010-05-17T13:36:00.006-05:00

This weekend teens from our church participated in a 30 hour famine event, where they fasted for 30 hours and spend the last 15 of those hours together. We hung out, cooked a meal for a local rescue mission, talked about poverty, memorized a bible verse, had times of teaching, prayer, and singing, then broke our fast with pancakes and sausages Sunday morning before church. The time of bible study and prayer Saturday evening was really neat as God met us. The picture to the right is a white board covered with 14,000 dots. The teens were wondering why we did this, and then found out as I played a clip about global hunger from World Vision. 14,000 children die every day from hunger and this visual representation helped connect the somewhat abstract statistic to reality. I'm so glad that we did this event and look forward to fasting together in the future.

Whenever one of the teens was feeling hungry, they were supposed to say so out loud and the rest of us would respond with Jesus' words from Matthew 4 "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God." This was a neat way to connect their present experience of hunger to the bigger reality that we are completely dependant upon God.

A Towering Figure

2010-05-10T10:37:00.003-05:00

I just finished this biography of Edwards by George Marsden and I agree with the Wall Street Journal that it is "magesterial." Marsden is very even handed in how he handles Edwards, helping the reader unerstand his excellencies and weaknesses by bringing us into his 18th Century context. This books is wonderfully written and rarely dry. You get a feel for Edwards, his family, and his times. There were a couple things I got out of this book: First, Edwards was incredibly disciplined. It is amazing to read of all the ways he ordered his life to pursue Godliness. Such discipline is worth striving for. I need to continue growing self-discipline and cutting the unnecessary out of my life. Second, for Edwards it was all about the glory and beauty of God as seen in the face of Jesus Christ. This was a man who, above all else, was captivated with a vision of the ineffible pleasures of Jesus Christ and allowed this compulsion to steer his life. The exciting thing, is that though such a life can seem far off, the same God who filled Edwards' life with light can do so in mine. Third, there was much conflict surrounding Edwards. Some of this was related to his own sin and weakness, but much arose because he was a man of principle and passion. I know that both my strenghts and weaknesses will cause difficulty as I follow Christ. I need to be aware of my failings and sinful tendancies because they will drag me and others down. I also need to understand that conflict will come when I am doing the right thing. Fourth, when God moves in a powerful way it is impossible to know what will happen. During the revival in North Hampton where he was a pastor and through the time of the First Great Awakening the gospel broke loose upon society and truly shook things up. When I pray that God would do the same here and now, I need to realize what I am asking for. Do I truly want my life shaken up? There is so much in this book and in the life of Edwards that we can learn from. I'm so glad I read it.

birthday fun

2010-05-07T09:13:00.006-05:00

Last week we celebrated birthdays: Hillarys (Fri) and Wesley's (Thurs. with a Sat. party). It was a lot of fun as I was able to take Saturday off for the party and have some time Friday afternoon to take Hillary out to lunch and spend around the the home. Family came into town Saturday for Wesley's party and had a lot of fun with him. As you can see Wesley enjoyed the birtday cupcake. Prior to this he was playing in the dirt, then the water, and then he combined the two until he was a complete mess. We stripped him down and hosed him off in our driveway and then the fun continued. His cousin Lindsay, who is normally pretty clean, was caught up in the fun as Wesley was throwing dirt around and got her. Most of the family were able to have some time with him and he did really well. When it came to opening presents, he liked tearing the paper but was distracted by all that was going on. As Hillary and I were looking back on on last year, it seems like so long ago. It has been an amazing and kinda crazy year. Asking Hillary what she thinks of the year, she said that she is beginning to feel more settled. When I asked her what she meant, she mentioned being here almost three years now, getting used to being a mom, and more tied into life here. As we talked about it, I have a similar feeling as to our experience here. Though it seems like there is something we're always figuring out or adjusting for, there is a greater sense of stability and it is nice.
Yesterday we, also had some birthday fun as we traveled up to Bridgewater, MA to visit an art gallery. Hillary found out about this guy and his studio on Craig's list when she was looking for a sandbox for Wesley. To make a long story short she bought me one of his paintings for my birthday. I turn 30 this November and we thought it would be a neat way to celebrate. John Deihl, is the artist and he has a grand opening tomorrow. Since his works are reasonably priced we wanted to get there before the opening so we took Wesley up yestarday. It was a fun excursion and somewhat of a test case for bigger trips to Boston or NYC. I'm not sure where I'll hang this yet, but I've got some ideas.

Birthday week

2010-04-26T18:14:00.002-05:00

This week is action packed as Wesley turns one on Thursday, Hillary has her birthday on Friday, and family comes in town on Saturday for a little party. I'll put up pictures of all three next week. It has been a fast year. Hillary and I were talking over lunch today and she was looking back through her journal to last year when Wesley was born. It is amazing to think of this helpless little person, who is now roaming around the house and getting in to all sorts of things. Wesley loves to open the bottom draw in our kitchen where we keep all our dish towels. He pulls them out and throws them into the air behind him until the drawer is empty. We've started stocking it with tupperware, measuring cups, spatulas, and a whisk - all of which he loves to pull out, examine and then toss. It is lots of fun. As you think of us this week, please pray for us as there is a lot happening in our family life and with my work. I'm doing a lot of teaching this week and have a bunch of other things to work on. Yet, in all this there is joy.

choosing when it is gray

2010-04-19T14:47:00.004-05:00

My job with the church touches many different areas and there is this continual overlap of responsibilities and priorities. I love the variety, but sometimes it is hard to know what to do. Last Wednesday there was the possibility of attending a funeral for someone one step removed from our church, climbing with two teenage guys, or having coffee with a guys in his late twenties who comes to church occasionally. All three of these are good and important things to do and there was no simple answer. I'm reading a biography about Johnathan Edwards and when he was a pastor in North Hampton, MA he spent the majority of his 13 hour day in his study (preparing for preaching three massive sermons each week, seeking God in prayer, studying, writing, and some counseling). I can see how this fit his gifts and temperament, but I also wonder about other motives. I find that with the freedom I have in setting my schedule and prioritizing certain tasks over others, that there is the temptation to do only the things I enjoy and am good at. While this describes the majority of my job responsibilities, there are points when I know I am putting off administrative work, making a hard phone call, or making a difficult decision. I need God's help to know what best to do with my day. Sometimes it is very clear and at others I see many shades of gray.

upgrading the office and fun with teens

2010-04-13T15:55:00.003-05:00

As you can see, I have furniture in my office. Well, I've had bookshelves and a desk for a while, but until last week I was getting by with chairs I found by the side of the road. They were both workable and fine, but not necessarliy inviting or cosy. I'm enjoying working in my new chair and putting my feet up on the couch as I read. We've had the offices six months now and it has been great for our church. Not only do we have a place for Al and I to come and work during the week, but we're using the space for all sorts of other gatherings. God has given us a wonderful space.
Picture number two is from Friday night when we had teens over after serving at the Hartford Rescue Mission. We go there about every other month and serve meals to folks in need. Our church has a neat relationship with the director and it is great to have the teens invovled. Most of our group that evening were Jr. High students and without the influence of the older teens, they can tend to be a little wacky. They were having fun fighting over the giant blue ball, playing with plungers (unused ones), and just being silly together.

thinking about the end

2010-04-07T11:22:00.002-05:00

In March and April I've had the opportunity to do a good amount of reading and thinking about the End. One of the neat things about the bible is that the story has an end. We aren't caught in some endless cycle or wandering through some a random serries of events with no conclusion to the drama. God's story has an endpoint. As I've been studying the book of Revelation and thinking about Jesus resurrection, it has been shaping me and helping me connect the "now" of life to the "then" of eternity. I've been teaching a four part serries on Revelation and a ten part series on the ressurection to teenagers, both of which are opening my eyes to the practical implications of the "the end." First, a neat fact - Revelation has inspired some amazing art work. Check out the woodcut to the right. It is based on images from Revelation chapter one.
Second, I've learned that how we see wealth and material possessions presently has much to dow with eternity. Through the bible, God's people are commanded to live lives of incredible generosity. But as you look at the theme of wealth in the scriptures you see a promise of eternal wealth for God's faithful people. In the new heaven and earther (the final state of ressurected followers of Jesus) there is a city who's streets are paved with gold and who's walls are encrusted with precious stones. This is a picture of incredible wealth. It points to the richness of eternal life with God himself. The cure for materialism and greed isn't to down play the significance of money (because it is significant for this life). However, if we seriously think through the concept of eternal wealth and eternal poverty, this will help. If there is a God, who in himself is infinitely rich and plans to eternally welcome his followers as heirs of his wealth, then following him and forsaking wealth takes on a different tone. Third, in Daniel chapter twelve it is talking about the ressurection and says that some will rise to "shame and everlasting contempt." The idea of hell isn't popular and is easily poked fun at, as we imagine a little red guy with a pitch fork and horns. But if hell is a place of unending shame and contempt, it is a lot more realistic. As I talked with teens about a shame that is completely accurate and never fades, the reality of hell and it's horror hit me in a new way. If there is a God and we blow him off every single day... Imagine facing that reality. There would be complete shame for not loving and thanking him. The deepest embarassement for always ignoring what is true and there would be nothing we could do to hide. Yikes

back on the horse

2010-03-29T15:16:00.004-05:00

If you've been checking my blog with any consistency you will have realized that I've been behind the game in writing about Uganda and updating on life. I haven't had time and when I get overwhelmed I can tend to push things off so I don't have to deal with the challenging reality. Well, I'm trying to deal with reality and get back to writing weakly. So, that means I'm not going to type up all my journal entries - I think it would take about 4-6hours to do all this and I'm not sure when I'll have that time.

So, in terms of what has been happening with us, the most exciting thing is following up from the youth retreat we had in early March. There have been some neat connections that have developed from that weekend and we are working to pull in some additional youth volunteers and some teenagers who have been more on the fringes. There have been extra opportunities to teach and preach, which has been exciting but somewhat exhausting.

Outside of work Wesley is a wonderful challenge to both Hillary and I. He is so much fun, but he doesn't stop moving. He loves to be on the go and spend time outside running around, playing in the dirt, and pushing the stroller.

Uganda again

2010-03-16T09:18:00.006-05:00

Well, I am still working through my journal typing it up and it's been two months since I've been back. This is much more labor intensive than I thought it would be. Anyway, we are all doing well and getting ready for a full weekend with family in town, people over, preaching on Sunday, and Hillary leading a counseling team meeting.

1/23
Early start to Mbale. Alarms didn’t go off for Al or I so Henry came in at 4:15 with a torch (flashlight) and roused us. The electricity had gone off sometime that evening. This happens intermittently. It took us till ~9am till we arrived at Mbale. I missed seeing Kampal and a big forest because it was still dark, but as the sun came up it was really neat to see Uganda. We had good conversation about universal principles and redemptive historical preaching which I need to think through. It was a good and challenging conversation to think through.
Outside of the ride here, it was an amazing and crazy day. We spent time with former Muslims who had converted to Christianity as they told us about their faith and persecution. There was an amazing sense of joy and life among them. When these former Muslims converted they changed their names, taking Christian names and are generally ostracized from their families. Here are some of their stories:
Rachel had a dream in which smoke formed the name of Jesus three times. She tells the man she is living with, and her family but they all dissuade her and tell her not to think of it. She tries to put it out of her mind over the next two months but is increasingly troubled. One day she passes by a church, goes insides, hears the gospel, and is converted. In response her brothers come to her home and burn all of her possessions. Her home has mud walls, a tin roof, dirt floors and three small rooms. You can still see some of the scorch marks from when her brothers burned her things. Despite her poverty and persecution she is full of joy and continues to speak about Christ to her Muslim neighbors.

Beatrice didn’t speak of how she came to Christ, but focused on the trials which have come because of her faith. She was a business women until her brothers came and stole the money she had recently borrowed from the bank for her business’ use. They said that since she is no longer a Muslim she should not have any money from Muslims (or something like that – we heard this all through an interpreter). They took her money, and all of her possessions. She was unable to make payments on her loan so the bank came and foreclosed her home. For about a year she would sleep in the church and cry out to God for his mercy. She prayed that the bank would be unable to sell her home and that he would provide her, somehow, with the money to payback the loan. There was no buyer for her home during the year the bank possessed it and a Christian who heard of her situation gave the money so she could payback the bank. As she is telling us this story she is praising God and speaking of her continued commitment to tell her Muslim neighbors of God’s provision for her.

Tom used to work at a Mosque in a position similar to a janitor. He spoke of the selfishness he observed among some of the leaders who had received some sort of gift for the Mosque (I think it was food), but used it for themselves instead of sharing. He didn’t say how he became a Christian, but spoke primarily of what happened afterward. Some men from the Mosque assaulted him, stripping him naked and beating him. In Uganda, many people only have one set of clothing, so after he was stripped naked he ran to the home of a church member who was able to give him some clothes. Those who beat Tom up also destroyed his crops, and continue to do so when he plants for the next season. He has nine children and struggles to provide for them.

The stories went on and many spoke of their love for Christ despite the difficulties they experience. Not all Christians converting from Islam experience persecution, but in this community that seemed to be the regular experience. One man, who was a sheik even talked about his life being threatened and his need to watch his back as he walks to church. It was an amazing experience to hear these stories and to encourage these fellow Christians in their endurance. Their joy and willingness to suffer – wow. Trying to process the time at the church today: God, keep me from unbelief. You are real and you are the one who has done this. Seeing individuals, then their families, then their extended families converted to Christianity, serving, evangelizing – it puts me to shame.

As we rode into this mountain village to this church service, there were eleven of us in this SUV: two in the front, four in the back seat, and five on these fold down seats in the trunk. There was a vine with about 60 bananas in the back with the five people! There are few people who own cars in Uganda, so transportation is prized. Whenever someone can catch a ride, instead of walking, they do it.

While we were in the mountains we also saw a wedding procession and hung out at the church before the wedding. There was a group of people singing and dancing as they processed about a mile to the church. Many were dressed in traditional garb, and the singing was beautiful. I don’t even know if the wedding had an official start time. Things happen in Uganda when everyone gets there. We joke about things running on Ugandan time which can mean almost anything.

Tonight we’re staying at the Anglican guest house in Mbale. We have our own rooms and there is a shower, which is pretty awesome. My room, and the guest house.

another Uganda post

2010-03-01T19:38:00.008-06:00

please see the previous post for info on how I'm writing and for the different characters...

1/21 (again? I think this is when I changed from writing in the morning about my previous day to to writing in the evening about the events of that day)

Dinner tonight was an amazing experience. Bishop Daniel from North Mbali and his wife were there as were a member of the president’s cabinet and the secretary of transportation. These are people Henry has known throughout the years and are currently in positions of power and influence. It was an interesting evening spending time with these Christians in very influential positions within the country. I was impressed by their deep faith in Christ and their desire to see honor God in the position he has placed them in. Before we began dinner the man from the President’s cabinet and the Bishop of North Mbali led us in a song and the lyrics go something like this:
We’re here together again, just praising the Lord.
We’re here together again, in one accord.
Something good is going to happen.
The Lord has something great in store.
We’re here together again, just praising the Lord.

(the Bishop of North Mbale, his wife Perpetua, & the Honorable Dr. Suruma enjoying dinner at Henry's)

It was a wonderful time singing together around the dinner table and after dinner many spoke of what God was teaching them and their hopes and burden for God’s work in their country. As I sat there with these influential people of sincere and powerful faith, I was asking myself, “What am I doing at this table?” I felt out of place but very welcomed. One of the Americans who was dinning with us (he is here planning for a construction project that his church will be conducting later in the year) said that one day he hopes to give Uganda more than he receives. He said, with tears in his eyes, that every time he comes to serve in Uganda he ends up coming home with much more than he has given. Thinking back on this evening Lord, I see that I am too recreational in my Christianity. Forgive and restore me.

This afternoon we had a neat conversation about God working through dreams because one of the guys we were talking with brought up this dream he had had. Henry was saying that one of the ways he has seen God work is to use dreams to bring up unfinished business that God has with us. You can definitely go way to far in putting emphasis on dreams and ending up in all sorts of weird places, but as we talked about the dream this man spoke of as well as some other situations I’ve got a new category to think within.

1/22
Oddly enough the night after our conversation about God using dreams I have a weird dream about two guys trying to jump me in the bathroom while I’m at an art exhibit with Hillary. I wake up during an intense part of the dream and think for a while how I would get out of the situation. It was so vivid I could remember the belt buckle of one of the guys trying to get me. Through most of my time in Uganda I had crazy dreams from the Malaria.
Today was pretty low key as we had morning appointments but it was all thrown off by the rain. This is normally the dry season but there was a thunderstorm in the morning and the roads, which are already messy, get even worse. A woman from our church is from Uganda and her sister was supposed to come by that morning and we waited and waited, and then a guy from a local college/seminary that our church supports was supposed to pick us up and we waited and waited. Finally the women arrived and we had tea and then we heard the our ride to the seminary was at the bottom of the hill, but couldn’t make it up (even in his four wheel drive SUV). We had a slippery and exciting walk down the hill (see pictures) and eventually made it to the seminary. It was a really quick trip so we didn’t get to interact with the students but we got a quick tour of the campus (check out the kitchen below) and then hung with a couple that our church helps support financially. We had grilled cheese back at their house and I had a neat time getting to know this couple. The husband was a pastor for many years in San Diego and they retired and moved to Africa to help run this seminary and college. It was neat to hear their story and connect briefly. At dinner tonight there was one of the ministers of state who came over with his wife and we had a wonderful time together. They are both faithful followers of Jesus Christ and are seeking to make an impact on their culture. Lord, make them strong.

My first few days in Uganda

2010-02-26T08:38:00.008-06:00

During my time in Uganda I kept a daily journal and I'm putting excerpts of it with pictures to help you get an idea of what my trip is like. Here's a few things to keep in mind. Some of this is stream of consciousness writting and isn't all clearly laid out (logically and gramatically, though I do my best). At some point I went from journaling in the morning to journaling in the evening so the dates might fluctuate but it's all here. Also, my journal is a mix of my memories of the day, an evaluation of the things I saw, and talking with God about it. So you'll notice a bit of all of these in my writings. Also, I've interspersed a few pictures.

1/18 En Route to Uganda – Wow.
It was sad and hard saying goodbye to Wesley and Hillary. It is strange to imagine three weeks gone – especially seeing him grow, helping Hillary out, sharing life with her and getting her feedback and encouragement. Flying out of Boston and looking at the city I am reminded of how big it is. And this is just Boston. We’re crossing oceans, flying over millions of lives and so many perish apart from you God. Wow – Lord, then to consider your immensity as the giver and sustainer of all life. Reading about knowing you intimately, it is stunning, almost hard to believe. Lord, draw me to you… can’t sleep – yikes… stayed up too long? Watching an action movie = bad idea. Negative 74 degrees outside the plane, is that with wind chill? Hahaha. Lord, even if I can’t sleep, I rest myself in thee.

*Schipol Airport, Amsterdam - below. There was this neat European feel that came out in the design, furnishings, stores etcetera, but there is still the ubiquitious McDonalds.

1/20 (lost time in travel)
It is Wednesday morning in Uganda and we are at Henry’s compound. (Henry is Dr. Henry Krabendam a close friend and mentor to my Sr. Pastor Al Baker. Henry has been involved in Uganda for at least 25 years and has a home there since he is there frequently. Dr. K or Dr. Henry as he is called by many Ugandans was a pastor for a while and then a professor at a Christian college teaching in areas like theology, bible, evangelism, apologetics and others.) It is beautiful here. I went to bed about 11 and slept till 8am. I was able to sleep about an hour or hour and a half on the first flight and about two on the second and then stayed awake until evening. On our second flight from Amsterdam to Entebbe Uganda, I woke up as we flew over the Alps. There were these majestic snowy peaks and tracts of cultivated land and concentrated towns deep in these valleys which crisscross the mountains. This was such a pleasant surprise. Then we flew of the Italian coast and the Mediterranean with amazing beaches. Finally we passed over the Libyan/Saharan deserts. This took hours. There were these wrinkles and pockmarks in the sand which reminded me of an old man’s face. I could also see various oases, it was all so vast. At the airport we met Rasheed, who is one of Henry’s business partners and manages his compound. We rode up to the compound in this land rover and it was necessary. The dirt road was full of ruts and we were bouncing all over the places. I wake up rested with birds calling and the sun gently pushing through the shades and there are a million shades of green dancing outside.

*Below is Henry's compound and the room Al and I slept in. The whole time we were there we slept under mosquito nets. One morning I found a mosquito had been under my net though the night - yikes!

1/21 It was a neat day yesterday. We (Henry, Al, and myself) had an afternoon of prayer with three Anglican Bishops, 2 archdeacons, a local Presbyterian pastor and a few other folks. The bishops have so many Christians in their dioceses, one has 400,000 people under his care – Wow. It wasa a privilege to spend tim with them, first talking and hearing about their burden for God’s work in their country and then praying together for your work in this world. This encouraged me. All of these men were saved from different backgrounds. One grew up in a pagan environment where his dad was a polygamist (polygamy used to be very common in Uganda, but is waning). Another of the bishops grew up in a Muslim family and was converted through his uncle who was a Christian. These are men who have had years of faithful ministry in difficult envirnments and I want to glean from them, but I’m not sure what to ask – or even if asking questions is the way that happens. We spend about 2½ in prayer after lunch and maybe 1½ hours after dinner. As we prayed I saw my unbelief and scoffing that God hears and acts. I need faith, conviction, new desires, the power of the Holy Spirit, and spirituality doesn’t come merely by association. God grow my faith, teach me to pray, lift me up, keep me from evil, help me to see your love in Christ and bless me with more of your Spirit. Fill me, or even just make me hungry. Protect me from the world, the flesh, and the devil, for you are worthy.
*Bishop Daniel from North Mbale Diocese on the left, then Al Baker, then Henry.

Many things don’t run on time here. Part of it is cultural (a focus on the event happening vs. the time it is supposed to happen) and some of it is technological (roads are bad, cars and taxis break down etc). Our time of prayer started late and through our time in Uganda we would joke around about things running on “Ugandan time” which could mean a half hour late to a few hours. One day we were supposed to be somewhere for lunch at 2pm (which we didn’t know), and we didn’t arrive until 4. But when we got there the food was on the table, and everyone was hanging out waiting for us. So there are some frustrating points when you’re trying to run a conference or get somewhere, but it is also really sweet when people aren’t as rushed and value down time together.

back...

2010-02-15T12:22:00.004-06:00

It has been a just over a week now that I've been back in the US, and it has been wonderful to be home. Seeing my family was the best, telling people about the trip was number two, and after that there are so many little things: hot showers, sleeping in my bed, mexican food, not being sweatty, drinking tap water, having communion at church, reconnecting with friends. It was an amazing trip and here's what I'm going to do to tell you about it. I kept a daily journal, so I'm going to type it up, insert some photos and put it on my blog. Above is video of Christians in Soroti worshipping. We were training Christians in sharing their faith with others there would be times of singing and dancing between the times of teaching.

packing

2010-01-11T10:42:00.003-06:00

When we were kids and our family was going on a trip my mom would set out a table somewhere in the house so we could lay out everything we needed to bring. While I am much less organized than my mom, I've got my own little table (first time ever) and am getting stuff ready for my tripe to Uganda. I'm leaving a week from yesterday (1/18) and will get back on Feb 6th. There is definitely a mix of excitement and nervousness. I'm nervous because I don't know what to expect and I'm excited for many, many reasons. As I was talking to people at church, they were encouraging me that you never know what to expect when you go to serve God. When you serve in less developed countries plans regularly change and you need to trust God that he will orchestrate things. I'm looking forward to how God will work in me throug trip and how he will use me in Uganda. Since I'm traveling next Monday (the day I normally blog), I won't be posting for the next three weeks, but when I get back I'll put as much as I can on the blog.

Christmas Extravaganza

2010-01-05T15:27:00.005-06:00

Wesley loves tearing wrapping paper, as you can probably see. We've included a few shots of our vacation and a recent photo of him eating blueberries, which he loves. Coming home for Christmas is full of expectations. In some ways it was a great time at home, but it got off to a rough start. Wesley took about two days to adjust and his schedule threw off our plans for various fun outings, but eventually things got sorted out. Wesley had a great time with Nana and Pop (grandparents) and various other relatives. While we were away his teeth finally broke through, he became more vocal (lots of grunting), and more mobile (walking while you hold his hands). It was great to be away from work, but challenging to find a sense of balance and regularity over the holidays. I didn't check my email for a week which was so fun, but I missed doing the parts of my job that I love, and being at our church for our Christmas Eve service. We enjoyed being with folks at home and appreciated the help with Wesley but were glad to return to "normal" life. We've been back in CT almost a week and are getting into a rhythm, but that is going to be thrown off when I head to Uganda in less than two weeks - Wow. There is a lot happening between now and then and hopefully I don't forget anything major.

snow and looking back on 2009

2009-12-21T10:53:00.004-06:00

Yesterday was thrown off a little because of the snow storm, but I had a much easier time due to a new addition to our family. No, we don't have Wesley out shoveling yet, but we do have a pretty sweet snow blower - it feels like a family member. I was able to do our driveway, sidewalks, a neighbor's drive way, and a long stretch of side walk in less time than it would have taken me to shovel just our snow. It's also much more fun. I'm still learning the fine points of snow blowing, but I am very glad to have one. Thanks mom!
Due to the snow church was cancelled yesterday, which was a bummer, but we still had our community groups and prayer meeting last night. At our prayer meeting we spent time looking back over 2009 and remembering all that God has done. Here are a few of the things that we have seen God do through prayer:
-provide a new worship location and office space (this has been huge!)
-continue bringing new people to church and working in their lives
-raise up leaders in the church
-heal one of our missionaries of a potential tumour
-provide a location and workers for our work in the inner city of Hartford
-grow and deepen our presence at the University of Hartford
-lead us in shifting the format for our youth meetings
-lead us to serving an Iraqi family in the area
It is exciting to look back at the past year and see all that has happened. It is good to celebrate what God has done, yet we continue to long for more.

finishing off a monster...

2009-12-15T10:46:00.003-06:00

...book, that is. I've been reading through this book on the resurrection since the spring and I only have 20 pages left! One of my goals for 2009 was to develop a reading list so that I work through a variety of books focusing on different aspects of Christianity. Within this plan, I decided that I should read one academically oriented book that will challenge me intellectually and make me think in new ways. Well, 730 pages later I can definitely say that I've learned a lot, enjoyed the journey, but that it took a lot longer than I expected. Here's a sentence that I thought captures the purpose and main thrust of the book: "Historical argument alone cannot force anyone to believe that Jesus was raised from the dead; but historical argument is remarkably good at clearing away the undergrowth behind which scepticisms of various sorts have been hiding. The proposal that Jesus was bodily raised from the dead possesses unrivalled power to explain the historical data at the heart of early Christianity." Reading through this book has strengthened my faith in the reality of the resurrection and helped me better understand it's meaning and implications.
Something else that I've been seeing in different ways is that many people don't believe in Christianity because they don't want to. While this sounds obvious here's what I mean. When someone says, I don't buy Christianity because _______, there is usually an equally valid, or sometimes better, explanation of their difficulty which the person does not want to accept. For example, someone may say that he or she does not believe in a good God because of all the pain and suffering within this world. This person's interpretation of the pain and suffering in this world is leading him to a certain conclusion, while in fact there are many other conclusions that could be drawn from the pain and suffering in this world. We all want to hold onto our interpretations of reality and the obstacles to faith are more complex than the needing evidence or the right argument. I think dialogue, and persuasive reasoning have their part but there's more going on under the surface that needs to be dealt with as well.
As I think about my job and all the neat stuff I get to do - like reading great books, thinking about God, and helping people connect to him - I am deeply grateful for the place God has me in life.

recuperating, shots, and a long awesome day

2009-12-07T11:19:00.004-06:00

Sometimes I don't feel up to writing. Normally I push through, but last week was one of those times when I didn't. Needless to say, we got back from Thanksgiving and had a generally fine holiday. Hillary was sick a good portion of the time and at points I missed being with my family, but it was good to be up in NY.

So here are a few different things going on with us:

Hillary is about 90% healthy while Wesley and I are feeling good. Getting extra sleep and having less demands on our schedule has been helpful. Our December calendar is pretty low key, since we don't have many church traditions or holiday parties, so we've been able to keep life at a moderate pace.

Last week I received four out of my five shots for going to Africa. My arms were a little sore, but it is much better than the alternative.

Last week I also had a long but wonderful day. It started with a prayer meeting earlier in the morning and ended with youth group in the night. I meet with other area youth leaders to plan for our annual mission called the Hartford Project, brainstormed in our staff meeting about the vision and direction of our church, counseled a college student about some decisions before him and helped a teen connect the bible to circumstances in this family. It was great.

Finally, Hillary and I are reading through the book you see pictured to the left. It is a series of reflections on Advent from Christian writers across the centuries. There are guys like St. Augustine, Martin Luther, and Johnathan Edwards mixed up with contemporary authors. It has been good to go through this different readings and talk about them together. Here's an amazing quote from John Donne, "The whole of Christ's life was a continual passion; others die martyrs, but Christ was born a martyr. He found a Golgotha, where he was crucified even in Bethlehem, where he was born; for his tenderness then the straws were almost as sharp as the thorns after, and the manger as uneasy at first as the cross at last. His birth and his death were but one continual act, and his Christmas Day and his Good Friday are but the evening and the morning of the same day. From the creche to the cross is an inseparable line. Christmas only points forward to Good Friday and Easter. It can have no meaning apart from that, where the Son of God displayed his glory by his death."

the door keeps hitting us on the way out

2009-11-23T22:16:00.006-06:00

Our offices are generally put together - yeah! I don't think I would have made it through the past month working at home. Well, I would have made it, but it would not have been pretty.

We are headed up to New York tommorow morning to be with Hillary's family over Thanksgiving and it is quite a challenge. With all sorts of baby stuff, lingering colds, and a "few" things to complete for work it seems kinda surreal that we'll be on the road tommorow. We are all a little out of it and looking for some rest. If you pray, ask God for health, peace, and a time of restoration as we look to recharge our bateries in the next few days. Also, Wesley continues to be really cute despite being sick!!

Don't take Wesley's doped out expression too seriously. We have not laced his teething biscuts with controlling substances.

Conference Thoughts

2009-11-16T14:56:00.003-06:00

We enjoyed our time in Philadelphia last week, despite some sickness and Wesley's first time being afraid of new surroundings. We think that up until now he hasn't been aware of the spaces around him and, now that he is, he was a little freaked out to be in a totally unknown location. In addition his teeth were bothering him, so it was difficult for him to sleep well.

I wasn't sure what the conference (2009 Christian Counseling and Education Foundation) would be like, but ended up getting a lot out of it. For a conference on Sex the plenary sessions talked about sex less than I expected, but were thought provoking. The main thing that I got out of the conference is that whatever is happening with you sexually is often a picture of what is happening in your relational world and your relaionship with God. As a general theme, this is harder to get but when you talk about the particulars it really comes out. Say, you are having all these lustful thoughts and it is this constant flow of images in the back of your mind. As you go about your day, it will be easier to objectify people - responding to them solely on whether they please or displease you. Lust is about using someone as an object for your please and that sort of thinking is hard to segment into one area of life. Similarly if we see all the people around us as means to our own ends, it is easy to relate to God in the same way. Another example from the opposite of the spectrum is someone grossed out by sex and completely disinterested. This person is ignoring a part of who he or she is and will tend to do the same in others. It will be easy for this person to distance himself or herself from his or her own body and to do the same with others. Ultimately this person will also disregard what God has to say about the body. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around this larger concept but it was helpful and challenges me to think about my life.

retreats, sickness, and travel

2009-11-10T14:40:00.002-06:00

This past weekend we had the guys and girls overnight retreats. They both went well, except for two difficulties. First, Hillary forgot her suitcase and had to come back from the hotel to our home and pick it up. The hotel was only about 20 minutes away, but it was rather exciting figuring it all out and keeping track of Wesley. The excitement for the guys retreat was the cold night. It got down to ~19 degrees and we were a little chilly sleeping outside. Around 5:30 in the morning one of the adult volunteers got up, started his car, turned on the heat and warmed up in there. Once a few other guys realized what he was up to they joined him in the car.
The guys and girls had a great time on their respecitve retreats. The ladies talked about beauty and the theme for the teaching was, "You are uglier than you feared, but more beautiful in Christ than you dreamed." The guys talked about masculinity.
Coming off an action packed weekend, both Hillary and I have been feeling under the weather and it is likely that we have strep throat, or something similar. She went to the doctor's today and I'm headed in tommorow. Fortunately, Wesley hasn't seemed to catch it so that is great.
Finally, we're headed to the Philadelphia area tommorow night so I can attend a counseling conference. We'll stay with my parents, who are close to the conference location and are both looking forward to time with family and a few days away. Another bonus is that a close friend is also attending the conference. I just found out yesterday and am psyched to spend time together and interact about the neat stuff we'll learn.

leaves and longings

2009-11-03T09:50:00.004-06:00

Wesley continues to be super cute and if you want to see more pictures, check out Hillary's facebook page.
The Fall is always a special time for me and it takes on greater significance here in CT, than anywhere else I've lived. Here the trees are practically exploding with color. On the way to work there is a tree that looks as if it will burst into flames any moment. You look at these brilliant red leaves and wonder if they will hold that shade and hue any more than the moment. The red is so intense that you think, "If I look away, this shade and hue will be gone. It can't last more than a moment." Winter is also looming, as we had our first frost last night and I had to scrape the ice off the car this morning.
Fall always fills me with a sense of longing. Some of that longing is to be outside and enjoy the beautiful world (ie. go climbing and camping), but I think there is more to it. I want to hold onto this one moment when we stand on the precipice, plunging from summer to winter. I don't know if it is even about the shift from summer to winter because I feel the same in spring. I think this verse from Ecclesiastes describes what I'm experiencing: "He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end."

Autum Fun

2009-10-27T08:05:00.004-05:00

Last week we went apple picking and it was a blast. We picked about 20 pounds and Hillary has already made two pies. The apple orchard was part of a big farm wich had all sorts of produce and a mini-grocery store and bakery where we bought fresh apple cider donoughts - wow! Last week was also our 4th wedding anniversary, so we celebrated by going out for coffee one night and dinner another. It was great to have two nights out together in one week. Wesley is doing well, though his teeth are hurting him as they are just about to break through. We have been enjoying the last few warmer days before winter comes to get us. Wesley, is not sitting up well enough that we can bathe him in the kitchen sink. It is easier and makes less of a mess in our bathroom!

arts and anniversary

2009-10-19T08:53:00.002-05:00

This Saturday we took some teens to the New Britian Museum of American Art, which is about 15 minutes from our house. A guy at our church is an art teacher and he helped us think about art and aesthetics from a Christian world view. He had a lot of neat things to say, and began our discussion by talking about the distiction of "I like it" vs. "It is good." We all subjectively like different pieces of art, but to say whether art is good, we need some sort of standard. He had us look at a few pieces and say which one was best when compared to a certain standard and it was really interesting. I started to like "fine" Art - painting and that kinda stuff - when I lived in St. Louis and the Art Museum there was free. I remember just, going there and wandering around the museum by myself and really enjoying it. I can still picture the flow of certain rooms and remember paintings that I would sit in front of and stare at.
This coming Thursday is our 4th Wedding Anniversary. Yeah!

heat, light, and people (soon)

2009-10-13T13:55:00.002-05:00

It has been just over two weeks that we've been in our new church offices and it is pretty exciting. It is great to have a dedicated space where I can spread out and work without being in the way or being distracted by various things happening around the house. Yesterday we finally had the heat turned on, and new light bulbs installed and now we're sorta ready for people. There's still a bunch of organizing to be done, some rooms need painting, and we'll have to go on a shopping for furniture, but we are off to a start. The offices are about a block from where we worship and a 5-10 minute walk from the town center. I've already met people at the office and walked to get coffee, which was really cool. Outside of getting adjusted to the office, I took two teens climbing outside yesterday (Columbus day) andI'm working on various teaching stuff for this week. The preparation is going well, but it is always a challenge when I spend more of the day by myself writing because I miss interacting with people.

chubby baby

2009-10-05T08:36:00.004-05:00

Wesley has started eating solid food and we're seeing the effects. You'll notice in this first picture, how his sweater isn't exactly covering his belly. As the day went on it continued to in higher and higher as his belly kept expanding. He's got chubby cheeks, a few chins, and fat little legs. It is a lot of fun to see him grow. He's basically sitting up on his own, though he's not completely stable as of yet. This picture is from his baptism last week. This was a wonderful time of celebration with many family members attending. Other than a growing baby, life is going well, with ministry continuing in October and the pace of life adjusting to a more normal rhythm.

baptism

2009-09-28T14:57:00.002-05:00

This past Sunday I baptized Wesley and it was an awesome occasion. The pastor asked Hillary and I to acknowledge his need of a savior, to claim Chrsit on his behalf, and to dedcate him to God. It was deeply meaningful to answer yes to all of these questions. Overall, it was a great time of worship at church and we felt very loved by our family as many came to celebrate us. I'll post pictures soon, but haven't downloaded them from our camera yet. Otherwise, life is flowing in a usual sort of pattern. We had our first week of a bible study at the University of Hartford this past Wednesday. It was great to have an mix of guys and girls there, but sadly there weren't any guys from the University of Hartford. The impetus for this effort has been a women's bible study on this campus and now we are looking to reach men on this campus. Presently there isn't anything happening to reach guys on campus and we were hoping this might be effective. It has been good to teach and prepare for this study, but we hope that God will work through it to do something on campus.

Newark, teaching, and a baby on the move

2009-09-21T11:04:00.004-05:00

While Newark, NJ might not have the hottest reputation around I had a great time there. We stayed at an old school built in the 20's which is now owned by World Impact - a Christian ministry to the urban poor. I was there to be part of the Newark School of Prayer and Evangelism which ran Saturday through Friday. I was only there three days, during which there was prayer and teaching in the morning, and then in the afternoon or evening to talk with people about Jesus. One of the highlights was spending time with some older guys in their late 70's who walk very closely with God. Just being around men like that is always exciting and challenging.
After getting back from Newark, it has been a full week as I've had a lot of teaching opportunities before me. In the course of two weeks I'll have taught a teen bible study, led two family worship seminars, taught at college outreach event, spoken at two chapel services at a local Christian school and baptized our first child. This is the sort of stuff I love to do, so it isn't overwhelming - yet. Finally, Wesley is on his way to crawling. We put him on one side of a blanket the other night and he made his way to toys on the other side. This was exciting and a little scary because I'm not ready for a mobile child yet.

Full Throttle

2009-09-15T09:06:00.003-05:00

As we posted last, September is full throttle. We returned from Jarrett's parents house Saturday night, Jarrett led worship on Sunday with a church picnic following (celebrating the six years Christ Community has been existence). Monday Jarrett left to attend an evangelism and prayer seminar in Newark, NJ and will be back Wednesday so he can lead the first youth group bible study of the fall semester. I'm sure you will hear about what it was like next week on the blog. So I am trying to get the household back in order and do a few odds and ends for Jarrett so he can focus on these other good things. Hence me blogging instead of Jarrett. Although life is full and can be overwhelming when you look at the calendar we know that God is in control. What I am realizing is the importance of relying on Him to do what he desires through these things otherwise it is in vain. So despite my tendency to do things in my own strength I am trying to trust Christ that His grace is sufficient. As an aside, Wesley is such a joy, he has been so content despite the crazy schedule. We are so thankful for God's kindness to us as parents.

beginnings and endings

2009-09-08T15:52:00.003-05:00

For those of you on the East Coast, this is a time of transition and schedules changing as school starts and vacation mode officially comes to an end. We are experiencing the shift in a lot of ways, as August was really low key, while September has begun full throttle. Kids are back in school, youth stuff is kicking off, and we are traveling to see family for weddings and other such occasions which we can't skip out on. This past weekend we were with Hillary's family which was good, but tiring. There was a wedding, and gatherings with family and friends, but we spent the majority of the time cleaning out Hillary's dad's house. Since Hillary's mom passed away we've been working through her stuff, trying to declutter and organize the place. With Hillary's dad getting remarried there is now a more urgent push to finish this work and how we spent our weekend is a picture of life right now: celebrating the new, cleaning out and categorizing the old, being on the move from one place to another, and trying to care for the family in the midst of it. Tomorrow night we head down to my parents for a few days and I'm looking forward to it, but trying to figure out what needs to happen between now and then is a little daunting.

recippe round up, missing technology

2009-08-31T12:28:00.004-05:00

About three weeks ago Hillary and I started to go through all the recipees that she had cut out and saved from various magazines, friends, family, and other sources. We threw out 2/3 of what we started with because we already had a good recippee for that dish, seemed too complicated, expensive, or just weren't interesting. Weeding through the recipees has left us with a manageable stack of recipees that we are working our way through. It has been fun to try a new recippe or two each week. A favorite was double corn polenta with tortialla encrusted chicken.

This is my mp3 player, which I had been missing since our trip to the White Mountains in mid-July. I carry my mp3 player and blue tooth with me, almost wherever I go and thus put them in differnt bags, pants, cars, old shoes and various other places. This means that about every other month I am missing on of these for a few days. I try my best to put them back in the same place each time, and it works 90% of the time. The other 10% is when I am wondering if I lost it and asking God that it would turn up. So far, God keeps bringing my technology back to me as I find it in interesting locations. These locations make sense when I put the device there, but are very difficult to find after a few days, weeks, or sometimes only hours, pass by. One of the favorite things about my mp3 player is listening to lectures and sermons. I spend a good ammount of time in the car and one of radio's works sporadically so drives can get tedious when the mp3 player is missing. Fortunately it has found its way home and we are one big happy family again.

moving highways

2009-08-24T13:49:00.002-05:00

Two Sunday's ago, the 16th, I had the privilege of preaching in Providence, RI at a sister church. Providence is a neat city and the church, Trinity, is workg to further God's kingdom in the city. As I was getting ready to go there I was told that the directions might be off since they are working on one of the highways. I didn't realize the magnitude of the highway work until I was lost, and eventually made it there and was told that the highway is actually being moved. The reason that the highway is being moved is that it presently cuts the city in half. Harford suffers from the same problem, where the highway criscrosses through the city breaking it up into little chunks. What is especially neat about the highway removal is that the church, which is more on the outskirts of down town, will be more at the center of things once the redevlopment begins. This highway relocation is exciting in how it benefit the church and for the city. I think about moving highways pretty often as I pass through Hartford on 84 (our major interstate), and as I drive through the city and see how it is disected by the freeway.

beach and baby

2009-08-17T11:34:00.002-05:00

These are two great pictures! Wesley was really smiling and having a great time the other day and we were able to get a shot of it. He keeps growing and his legs are getting chunky now. The past month has been lots more fun since we are sleeping more and he is more interactive. The next picture is one of our teens buried in the sand at Misquamicut Beach in RI. The Connecticut beaches aren't that great so we took a trip to RI, which is only about 1.5 hours away. It was sorta cloudy, but we had a great time playing in the ocean, burying people in the sand, playing cards, eating humongous cheese fries, and enjoying each other's company. I got a little burnt since I didn't follow my own advice to the teens about "how easy it is to get burnt on a cloudy day." The water was a little chilly - probably the upper 60's but we swam a bunch anyway and laughed a lot as we tried to use the skimmer board and ended up crashing a bunch. If you have tried to use a skimmer board you know what I am talking about.

this is the day...

2009-08-10T11:58:00.002-05:00

Probably my favorite part of being a dad, right now is the mornings. Usually I'm up before Hillary (since I sleep while she nurses during the night) so I'll try to grab Wesley when he first wakes up. Lately he's been on his belly - he rolls over now - and I'll flip him over and say hello as I take him out of the crib. He's usually a little groggy but once I talk to him a little bit he'll start to smile. Then as I'm chaning his diaper I'll sing his morning songs. The first morning song is "This is the day," which has a fun echo and goes like this: This is the day [this is the day], that the Lord has made [that the Lord has made]. We will rejoice [we will rejoice] and be glad in it [and be glad in it]. This is the day that the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it. And then you repeat it. When I start singing this song Wesley really starts to smile and gets all fired up. Singing this song and watching Wesley's response helps me internalize the words and remember that God has given me this day and that because of what Christ has done, I can rejoice regardless of the circumstances.

good books

2009-08-03T14:27:00.004-05:00

I'm trying to catch up on my "reading plan" for 2008 and am enjoying time with books. The primary challenge has been rainy afternoons and late nights. Both of these sabotage my reading by inducing sleep. Here are two neat quotations that I've come across recently.

This is from the chapter on Apologetics: "Corresponding to human blindness is God's hiddeness. God hides himself from those who would know him without loving him. Pascal glories in the obscurity of Christianity, its "folly" as Paul describes in 1 Corinthians 1. This obscurity is what we should expect from a God who hides himself from those who have no desire to love him. The revelation of God in Christ is ambiguous. Only through the gift of faith do we discern the presence of God in the same of the cross. ... The cross is the revelation of God to those disposed to love God, but it hides God from those disposed to reject his reign." This is a thought provoking book and as the authors here speak of the hiddenness of God they are arguing for the necessity of a faithful church community to show God's goodness. The chapter concludes "We need to make people want Christianity to be true. Then we might be able to persuade them that it is true."

This has also been a thought provoking book and still is. (I haven't finished either of these books yet.) N.T. Wright is a very smart and hard working guy who has done a lot of thinking about the resurrection. His primary thesis is that the early church's belief in the resurrection is only explainable by the fact that there was a resurrection. This may sound simple but after reading 250 pages there is a lot to his argument. A major theme that I've seen is how belief in a resurrection challenges power structures in this world. "The future resurrection and glorification of Jesus' followers will vindicate them as the true people of the one true God, despite their present suffering and humiliation, and herald the victory of the gospel of the powers of the world through the final act of new creation. ... Resurrection challenges the powers of the world, as no other theology or spirituality can do, with the news of the kingdom of the creator and covenant God."

family wedding

2009-07-29T12:34:00.006-05:00

This weekend Hillary's dad got remarried and we were up in NY for a 4.5 days. In many ways this was a good time, but there was some sadness as it ties into the loss of Hillary's mom. Outside of the wedding some highlights included:

6 days of vacation - Wow!

Time with Hillary's sister and her family (3 cute kids).

Me going kayaking with Hillary's cousin and his girlfriend.

Swimming in the Battenkill, a river running alongside the family farm.

Reading under the apple tree in the afternoon shade.

Hillary's highschool reunion.

Seeing Hillary's cousins, one of who has a six month old we met for the first time.

Coming home and Wesley returning to a normal sleep schedule.

White Mountains

2009-07-20T12:25:00.008-05:00

This past Thursday through Saturday I took 6 teens and one other adult hinking in the White Mountains of NH and it was a great time. We had awesome weather, which is super rare up there, and all made it back safely from our hike. I read this book about mountaineering and the author was saying that the trip is always a success if everyone makes it back safe and sound. This has become my motto and though some of us made it to the summit, the best part was all strolling into the parking lot together. It was a neat time to strengthen relationships among the teens, expose some of the teens to aspects of God's creation they had never seen, and for all of us to experience a serious challenge. My favorite part of the hike was emerging from the forest to hike above the tree line. There were stunning views, sunny skies, and a refreshing breeze as made our way along ridges, across boulder fileds, and finally across the saddle between a minor summit and Mt. Washington. Another highlight of the weekend was seeing the personalities of the different teens emerge, some more than I had seen before.

pictures and a week at home

2009-07-14T15:52:00.011-05:00

Here are a few pictures of my time in Seattle and a recent photo of Wesley.

The city from a Water Taxi heading to West Seattle.

In the center of the picture you'll see a guy behind the counter catching a silvery blur. That is a huge salmon filet that another worker at this fish shop threw to him. This fish market is located in Pike's Place Market.

This is a shot of a neat exhibit at the Seattle Art Museum. Cars flipping through the air with fiber-optic cables shooting out light.

This is me atop Granite Mt. which is east of Seattle and is an amazing hike. At the base it was almost a temperate rain forest, while at the top there is still a lot of snow. It was an exciting hike.

And finally, this is Wesley about two weeks ago at nine weeks old. He continues to grow and change and it is hard to keep the pictures up to date with the baby. He is smiling more and sleeping in his crib which is pretty awesome. This past week we've just been around home and that has been great.

a breather

2009-07-06T08:37:00.003-05:00

This is the first somewhat normal Monday in three weeks, except for the electrician restoring power to half of our home. Between traveling to Seattle, ImpaCT 09 at our church, the Hartford Project with our teens, and visiting family for 4th of July we have been somewhat scattered. What I'll do is give you a quick summary of each and then I'll put some pictures up later.

Seattle: a great city with a totally different feel than cities on the East Coast. Lots of water, trees, and modern architecture. There aren't older buildings like there are here and there is this spread out feel to it all. I stayed at a great Hostel, walked around down town, explored via public transport, visited a neat museum, and spent time reading at a neat tea and crumpet shop. It was great to spend time with friends at the rehersal dinner and wedding and I was excited to hear about God working through his church in Seattle. In many ways the spiritual needs reminded me of the New England area, but it was interesting to see how the same issues of sin and brokenness played out in different ways. The same root issues lead people in New England to work themselves to death, while in Seattle people take vacation and rest very seriously. Here people tend to be blunt and cold while in Seattle they are warmer but very passive aggressive. Anyway, you get the idea - same underlying disease with different manifestatoins.

ImpaCT 09 - This was a time of focused gospel ministry where we had teams from AL, and MA, as well as individuals coming in from various other places. The two teams primarily focused on a children's program which we ran in an impoverished area of the city. The other individuals went through West Hartford and Waterbury (a city about 30min away) and sought to have conversatoins with people about God. God blessed these endeavors by providing opportunities to speak with a variety of people about the gospel. We are currently following up with the many people who either expressed interest in further conversation or committed themselves to Christ.

The Hartford Project - About 200 teenagers and youth leaders from fourteen area churches came into Hartford for a four day missions trip. We partnered with churches and orginizations in the city to show the love of God to Hartford. This was an amazing time of service as we God powerfully at work in all sorts of ways. We saw him controlling the weather so we could continue with our plans for outdoor festivals at two churches. We saw his life changing power as we heard about his work in saving people that come from places of influence and power, and people who have been brought to nothing by addiction. We also had wonderful times of worship as we praised God for all that we saw him doing that week. This was my second year participating and both times it has been an incredible experience.

Visiting Family - Right after the Hartford Project ended I hopped on the road to meet family in the Pocono Mountains of PA for a few days rest. Hillary had been staying with my parents for a few days and came up with my dad to meet us there. The unsung heroes of all that I have been telling you about are Hillary, my family, and some friends who have helped Hillary care for Wesley as I have been generally out of the picture the past few weeks.

back and between

2009-06-23T23:29:00.003-05:00

Monday morning I took my first ever "red eye" flight from Seattle to Cleavland, to Hartford and it wasn't as unpleasant as it could have been. At first there were two infants echoing each other's screams. One would cry then the other would screech back from some undisclosed location further up in the plane. But they settled down pretty quickly and I was able to catch a few hours. I'll post some pictures and tell some stories, but I am pretty spent right now. We're in the midst of IMpaCT 2009 and the Hartford Project starts this weekend, so I am a little overwhelmed. It definitely feel scattered - I better sleep. Goodnight

out...

2009-06-15T21:26:00.003-05:00

Wednesday morning I'm on my first trip to the West coast. I'm attending a friend's wedding and am very excited. A few days with no responsibilities is pretty awesome and I don't feel too bad because Hillary has some help coming. There is a lot to do between now and 5am Weds. morning so I won't say much, but will write about the trip when I return.

smiles

2009-06-08T12:37:00.004-05:00

It is pretty sweet when you see faces like these. Sometimes there is lots done to incite the smiling and other times it just kinda happens. Wesley is definitely putting on the weight and is on his way to being a chunky baby. He is just getting those rolls on his neck and it is pretty fun. Sleeping is coming along. Two times now he has slept for 6+ hours and we feel amazing when that happens. Other nights though aren't so good and we need to remember not to get discouraged. The next few weeks will definitely be a challenge for Hillary as I'll be away on and off, and she'll be on her own for some of it. I'm going to Seattle next week and am very excited to explore a new city and be on the West Coast for the first time.

growing - gardens and babies

2009-06-01T14:32:00.004-05:00

Wesley is certainly growing and we think our garden is too. Wesley had his one month check up and weighed in 1lb heaveir than last time (8lbs 8oz) and you can see the difference in his chubby cheeks and chunkier thighs.

Our garden, unlike Wesley, is not so easily measured. I spent all of labor day weeding and trimming the various trees which efectively shadded our garden. We've got cucumbers, peppers (green and red), zuchunni, tomatoes, green beans and lettuce this year. In addition we've got a few herbs going by the deck. There is this neat sense of accomplishment in weeding and planting and I really enjoyed it. I think part of the enjoyment stems from the fact that elsewhere in life the results of what I do aren't immediate. I love working with people, but it is nice to spend a day in the garden and tear all this stuff out and put all this stuff in, but I guess it will still be a while to see if it grows.

If you are wondering about our sleep, Wesley isn't on a schedule yet. He has some nights where we only sleep four or five hours, but there are others, like last night, where we got about eight hours of sleep. Eight hours is amazing.

moving on up

2009-05-18T13:13:00.002-05:00

The exciting news for this week is that Wesley has jumped up in diaper size to #1. It is interesting that until a few weeks ago I did not know there were various sizes of diapers. It defineitely makes sense, but there are all sorts of things you learn when you have a kid. Hillary brought Wesely to church yesterday and that was the first try of attempting to get to a certain place at a specific time. It was challenging. We don't keep much of a schedule since our plans plans are easily foiled by a hungry or sleepy or cranky baby.

Outside of baby stuff a highlight from my week was attending a graduation party for one of our students. It was unique in that only guys were invited (no girls except immediate family). We hung out and ate for a bit and then took time to encourage this student. Different men from his life talked about what they had seen and hope to see in him and many gave great advice for the next stage. It was interesting to be at this graduation party and think that I would be doing something like that as a Dad one day.

a little fussy

2009-05-12T13:32:00.003-05:00

Wesley is clearly a cute baby, but he is following the path of most infants - not sleeping when he is supposed to. He is all swadled, being rocked, comforted, and all that good stuff and then he just looks up at you with these wide open eyes. Sometimes it is really funny, but when it gets to be the early hours of the morning my sense of humour seems to run out. Overall it hasn't been that bad - I can't imagine having a baby who just cries. I just think we were a little spoiled early on when he would eat and then go right to sleep. We are figuring him out a little bit more each day, but he continues to grow and change so sometimes it is hard to know what to expect. It is really interesting at moments to think, "Wow, I was a squirmy little baby just liket this and one day Wesley will hopefully be grown up with kids of his own." Those are my thoughts as I change diapers at odd hours of the morning.

first night home

2009-05-04T07:47:00.002-05:00

We brought Wesley home from the hospital yesterday and are getting used to life together at home. It is great to have Wesley here and for some reason the adjective "fun" keeps coming to mind. Even though he basically eats, sleeps, and dirties his diapers it is a lot of fun to have him around. It is such a strange and wonderful thing that the mere presence of this person, even though you barely know him and he contributes little, can add so much to life. Now that he is here though, we are trying to get into a rhythm and figure out who does what and when we sleep. I'll try to get some more pictures up this week.

Wesley Anderson Allebach

2009-04-30T21:21:00.003-05:00

the waiting game

2009-04-27T11:58:00.004-05:00

Right now we're just waiting. The crib is together, the bags are packed and there's this lull. Hillary has been on top of various tasks, getting things done around the house and finishing up various projects. Last week we were talking and she was saying, "If the baby doesn't come soon, I won't know what to do with myself since I've tried to clear everything off my plate." It is a little strange for me also, since I'm trying not to make major plans and keep my schedule open. I'm not exactly sure how to stay focused and keep up with everything while also being ready to drop it all in an instant.

lots of time and an awkward moment

2009-04-20T13:43:00.003-05:00

This past week many of our teenagers had spring break, so I was able to have lunches, hang out, go to an art museum, attend a track meet and a few other things because kids were around during the day. It was good to be with the teens and connect to what is going on with them. One of the things I have been thinking about is what my job would look like if we had 50 teenagers at our church instead of 17. I wouldn't be able to spend as much individual time with kids and would need to invest more in leaders and groups of kids. With each set of circumstances there are benefits and difficulties. As I think about how I spend my time and even how ministry is structured here I need to be open to doing things differently. I want to broaden our connection with kids in the community, and need to regularly reevaluate whether I am using my time and energy effectively. An area which continues to come to mind is multiplying leaders. Helping others grow and develop so they can serve is so important and I need to keep that in the forefront of my mind. I know this is more of a philosophic sounding post, but it is incredibly practical when I think about what I will do each day. Oh yeah, the awkward moment. When I took a few teens to a local Art Museum we were on our way out and there was a shelf of post cards and advertisements for different openings. We were pulling ones out and a teenage guy said, "I wonder what this one is as he pulled it out." All you could see was a woman's face, while the card was in the rack but pulling the post card out, it was an unclad women. He and I looked at each other and the the two girls with us (one of them being his sister) let out an awkward laugh. We all laughed a little and made various jokes on the way to the parking lot.

coming together like

2009-04-13T14:12:00.004-05:00

Probably from this week until mid-summer every blog entry will have something to do with Baby A. It is getting pretty close, right around 3 weeks. This past week we were able to finish a few more projects and everyting is getting ready. Saturday we put together the crib, with the help of our neighbor Max. It only took about 30 mintues which was great. This this week we'll put some finishing touches on the room. Otherwise, there are three exciting things happening this week. First, a bunch of our teenagers are on Spring Break, so I'm getting to hang out with people a bunch. Second, there is a theological conference that I'm going to this weekend. It's hosted by a few local churches, but is brining in some great speakers to talk about the life and legacy of John Calvin. Finally, I'm probably going climbing outside this Friday. I got a guide book to CT Climbing for Christmas and if the plans work out I should be able to take one our teens to Pinacle Rock in Plainville, CT and do some climbing.

When commentators conflict, or Why I went to seminary

2009-03-30T16:44:00.002-05:00

I get to preach this week for Palm Sunday and I generally enjoy the thinking and reading that goes into sermon preparation. The difficult thing is when I'm working on the sermon and there is a portion of the passage which doesn't make sense and I can't find clear answers as to what it means. I've been working on the passage for this Sunday (from Zechariah) and the two parts I have questions on are addressed in various commentaries, but the various scholars don't agree. They translate the verses differently and have somewhat different interpretations as well. It is kinda intimidating when there are these various intelligent people who come down on different sides of the issue and I need decide what I think best represents the intention of the author. So, pray that God would lead me to understand his word and communicate what he desires. Preaching is always somewhat of a an adventure there are just times when you feel it more and I am definitely feeling it this week.

a spectacular weekend

2009-03-24T13:09:00.005-05:00

This is a picture of our teens garbed in super hero costumes and posing on the rocky beach just North of Cape Cod, MA. We arrived Friday and returned Sunday from a wonderful youth retreat. God honored the prayers and preparations and blessed us with his presence on the weekend. We had a blast living in this amazing 3 story house with 10 bedrooms and 6.5 baths. There was a wood burning stove in the living room and fireplace in the dinning room, both of which helped keep the house nice and cozy. We spent time playing games, hanging out, cooking meals, swimming (yes, I know it was crazy) and enjoying each other's company. The speaker for the wekend was a good friend of mine from seminary and he did an excellent job. We met for worship and teaching 4 times through the weekend, concluding our time together with a worship service Sunday morning. If you happen to be on facebook you'll see all sorts of pictures connected to this retreat. Hillary was a huge help as she worked hard in a variety of ways despite being 32 weeks pregnant - Wow - she is a trooper! In this final picture you can see some of those gathered together for Sunday morning worship.

Francis of Asissi

2009-03-16T12:04:00.003-05:00

While this painting doesn't look to cheery, Francis of Assisi seems like an interesting guy. I read a short biography a few years ago and as I was working on my sermon for church this Sunday I remembered a quote of his. It goes like this
"While I was in sin it seemed too bitter a thing for me to see lepers. But the Lord himself led me among them, and I showed compassion to them. And when I left them, what at first seemed so bitter to me was changed into sweetness of body and soul."
This is a wonderful picture of what God can do in and through us. God has definitely provided for us as we're in the final stretch of three very busy weeks. We've completed two baby showers and head to Cape Cod for a Youth Retreat this weekend. I was able to get my sermon for this Sunday generally done before Hillary' sister came into town, so I was able to play with her girls and help get ready for the shower. It is great when it works out that way.

the embarassment begins

2009-03-09T10:06:00.003-05:00

From what I hear your child tends to embarrass you. Maybe it is through throwing a tantrum at the grocery store or repeating something you regret saying, but our first born is off to a quick start. This Saturday we had our first baby shower in NJ with my side of the family. We got to hang out with my sister and her family for Thursday afternoon and Friday, then everyone came over on Saturday. We got lots of great stuff (Hillary could give you more details), but as presents were unwrapped my aunt took all the bows and ribbons and attached them to a paper plate to make a hat. I think this is some sort of tradition at bridal or baby showers, but my understanding is that Hillary should have ended up with the hat. My family thought it would be more appropriate, however, if I wore the hat and Hillary readily agreed. Thus, many pictures and silly comments, especially from my sister, as I don a hat of bows and ribbons. In the background I still hear my sister, "Do it for the baby - hahahahahaha." I know that this is only the beginning...

two good looking guys

2009-03-02T20:22:00.004-06:00

Two Christmases ago Hillary's Dad gave me an extra Saab jacket that he had. This year was the first time we were caught wearing them together and who could resist such a photo opportunity. Hillary joked that we are two peas in a pod, but I prefer to think of us as two fashionable men. The next two weeks we're going to spend time with both sides of our family as we have a baby shower in NJ this weekend and NY next weekend. I think I'm going to be making room for all sorts of new stuff in our home - yikes. I'll let you know how it all goes.

fun in shushan

2009-02-23T18:13:00.002-06:00

This Wednesday through Saturday we were in Shushan, NY spending time with her dad and the rest of her family. We had an engagement party for one of her cousins. When we were up for Christmas I started making home made meatballs and continued the trend making 63 for the party. In addition to seeing family we did some decluttering of the house. The best part for me was bringing along my .22 (same gun as the one pictured) and getting to shoot at cans. While I'm not going to be recruited by special forces any time soon, I was able to hit a few cans, which is very rewarding. I got to shoot a little with Hillary's uncle who said we could shoot skeet sometime when I'm up over the summer. It's been a while and I really enjoy skeet shooting, so that was an exciting proposition. While it was good to be up in NY it was a little hectic leaving town, as well as coming back. March is going to be an exciting month of baby showers and seeing family, but we're both a little bit wary of the busyness which will likely ensue. Cheers

rethinking Noah and learning to roll

2009-02-09T13:57:00.002-06:00

In youth group we are going through a series on the covenants in the bible. Basically, at key points God formalizes his relationship with his people and these are called covenants. These were the contracts of the Ancient Near East and used between business partners, kings and their vassals, friends, spouses, and in similar settings. This week we looked at God's covenant with Noah and in my preparation I had a slight paradigm shift. When you are a little kid, most of your interaction with Noah comes from cute pictures where this old guy with a beard loads animals onto an ark. As I was thinking about the account of the flood God's rescue of Noah in the ark images from the various hurricanes and the tsunami in SE Asia came to mind. The idea of a world-wide flood is hard to imagine and puts God's promise to Noah to never again flood the earth in a totally different context. Another thing which surprised me is the Bible's later use of the flood to describe cleansing. While the flood brought destruction, it also brought cleansing and New Testament authors take up this theme at different places and speak of God's coming cleansing of this world. This has given me a new way to look back at the account of Noah to look forward to what God will do. And though this is only related by the theme of water, I'm going to attend an instructional session put on by the Appalachian Mountain Club of CT, this Saturday and learn how to Eskimo Roll in my kayak. I'm pretty excited.

reading plan 2009

2009-02-02T13:04:00.006-06:00

This year I've got a plan to read a bunch of different books and it was really exciting to put the final touches on it this morning. Ever since I was a kid I have loved to read, and it is an endeavor which still keeps me up till the early morning every now and then. What I figured is that I would share with you some of the ones I'm excited about for the next year.

-I just finished this one a few weeks ago and it examines the Puritan's view of the future and how this affected the world around them. They had an optimistic viewpoint which saw the gospel spreading through the world with great effect. God would work through a serries of revivals to spread his reing through out the world and after this Christ would return. It is very interesting to see how this view of human history played out on a variety of fronts. It is well worth the read.

-There are all sorts of books on depression that are out there, but this is one of the few you can actually give to someone who is depressed. Hillary recently finished this one and it is now on my list. She spoke very highly of the book and said it has a very balanced and helpful perspective.

-This is my "thinking book" for the year. I'm going to try and read something more scholarly so I remember the large words which I learned in seminary. I've seen some excerts from this book and am intrigued. Wright considers the centrality of the ressurection for the growth and spread of the church. He looks at the uniqueness of the idea of a man rising again from the dead and how this fits into the the cultural context of that time. I'll be able to tell you more once I read it. That is if I finish it and I can explain it lucidly.

And, just so you don't think I'm too committed to my reading or going overboard with the books, I've included my most recent aquisition...

home progress

2009-01-26T14:25:00.003-06:00

It might be hard to get a feel for the room from this picture, but this is what our future nursery will look like. It has been a good month of home repairs as this room has undergone a radical transformation. You might notice how it no longer looks scary and forboding. I've heard that scary and forboding rooms have a detrimental effect on children. Baby A is continuing to grow and develop. I felt him or her move for the first time last week and that was pretty exciting. Hillary was just about asleep so it wasn't the best time for celebration, but it has happened a few times since. It is really neat, but also bizarre to think that there is this person growing inside your wife. Feeling him or her kick and move adds a whole new dimension to coolness/wierdness of it all.

pregnant pictures, snow Sundays, and -1 temps

2009-01-20T17:38:00.003-06:00

So here is Hillary in all her pregnantness. In the background you'll see the nice yellow walls of our nursery. We've done a little shopping at Baby's R Us (I'm not sure who came up with that store title), and have almost completed our registry. We had our second ultra-sound last Wednesday and the baby is growing at appropriate rates. The only anomoly is the baby's head, which is a few weeks larger than normal. I was excited because I related this to our coming child's above average intelligence. Hillary was dismayed because she's going to have to give birth to the large sized head.
On another note, this was our third or fourth snowy Sunday in the past month. We, (actually I) don't like to wake up and shovel before church, but it keeps happening. It is pretty to look outside after church and see all the freshly fallen snow and I like the excitement of driving on minimally plowed roads, but it makes it hard for people to get there. I think everyone needs to get snow tires - they are amazing.
Last but not least, I got to go snowboarding in VT last week. It was super fun. The mountain was pretty deserted since we went on Thursday and the high for the day was 9 degrees. When we arrived it was -1 outside and we had a chilly chair ride to the top of the mountain. Once we got warmed up, it was a lot of fun. That's about it for me!

back in action

2009-01-05T12:15:00.004-06:00

After two weeks sort-of off work and nomral life Hillary and I are getting back into the swing of things. We had a great Christmas as we spent six days up at Hillary's dad's in NY, and then had my parents up for a few days the following week. In NY I was able to go cross-country skiing and take the snowmobile for a short run up and down the driveway. We spent lots of time with Hillary's family and were able to see childhood friends of hers as well. When we got back into town we hit the ground running as we started to strip the wall paper from our future nursery. It has been an arduous process as we had to steam the wall paper off, spackle many holes, and repaint the trim and a built in book shelf. The project is almost done, except for a final coat of paint which I might put on tonight. With seeing family, trying to paint our future nursery, and me preaching two Sundays of the past three life has felt somewhat out of control. I'm excited for 2009, but I feel like I need to collect myself after a few scattered weeks.

Here are some of the things I'm looking forward to: (in no particular order) -having a child, building a min-rock climbing wall in our garage, spending time with family, seeing our church grow in Christ, taking teenagers on a spring retreat, going snow boarding, reading and learning, our new couch, knowing God better, being married to Hillary, and getting our house in order.

overdue but worth the wait...

2008-12-22T12:55:00.004-06:00

So, it has been almost two weeks since I have posted and such negligence is inexcusable. Anyway, I figured I would make the wait worthwhile by posting the images from our ultrasound. This is "baby A" and we don't know whether we'll be having a boy or girl. We don't want to find out and the ultrasound tech. said she couldn't tell anyway because the baby was squirming all over the place and sitting cross legged. Our child is already rambunctious and uncooperative - Hillary thinks the baby takes after me. It was pretty exciting to see the pictures and the baby and mother are continuing to grow and develop. We're headed up to Hillary's Dad's in New York and are pretty excited. Have a wonderful Christmas.

ultra sound

2008-12-09T13:01:00.002-06:00

This past Thursday Hillary had her 18 week ultra-sound and we got to see the kido. She or he is healthy and developing fine, but was rather squirmy and uncooperative - Hillary joked that the baby takes after me. While the technician, nurse, and doctor were trying to measure femurs and the nose bone the baby was wiggling all over the place, so it was kinda difficult for them to get accurate measurements. At other points the baby was sitting in such a manner where you could mostly just see his or her feet. It was a good thing we didn't know the sex of the baby because we wouldn't have been able to tell due to her or his position and squirminess. The ultra-sound is more fun in retrospect than it was in person. We were there for a while and it was often hard to tell what we were looking at. I accidentally dozed off for a few minutes (we were sitting in a dark and warm room - that spells trouble for me staying awake). We'll try to scan some of the pictures and put them online for you all to see.

getting on track

2008-12-01T13:19:00.002-06:00

I find, that when I'm out of town, even for a day or two it is hard to jump back into the rhythm of things. It is like when I am backing into our driveway and accidentally run up on the logs which mark our flower beds - there is always a few seconds before you can get off. If you jerk the wheel hard and try to get right back on track you can careen into the hedge on the other side, so you just need to ease it back towards equilibrium. With coming and going for Thanksgiving, Weddings, and various other things I'm feeling like it is hard to reach equilibrium. This especially plays out in setting time apart to spend with God and doing the same with Hillary. Self-discipline and intentionality are much harder as life continues to change, but I think I will learn even more about this reality once we have kids - yikes. My mom noted that I often change the subject when she brings up us having a child and how I feel about it. I'm excited and nervous, and realize that however much or little I think about it I will continue to be nervous and excited. Oh well.

turkey birthday

2008-11-24T17:51:00.002-06:00

This Thursday is pretty awesome because I get to celebrate Thanksgiving and my birthday. I am convinced that the Thanksgiving/Birthday combo is the ultimate in birthday/holiday combinations. There is a large family gathering with excellent food, and you get presents. There aren't other disctractions like fireworks (4th of July), parades (Vetrans Day) or everyone being out of town (Memorial Day). Unlike the Christmas/Birthday combo there is little danger of double gifting (one gift which "covers" Christmas and Birthday). In addition it is generally expected that you will watch football and lie around, both of which I enjoy. As you can probably tell I am pretty excited. The best part will be spending time at home with my family and just relaxing. I've got a few good books packed - two serious and one that's pure fun. I hope you enjoy your Thanksgiving as well.

driving through the night and Admiral Stockdale

2008-11-17T11:57:00.002-06:00

Hillary started driving around 10pm and I as lay there in the reclined car seat I was staring up following the moon as its light reflected off scattered clouds. It was a beatiful evening twisting and cruving along Interstate 81 as we traveled through Virginia and West Virginia into Pennsylvania. I had the 12:40-5am shift at the wheel and the first two and a half hours were great. I was rested from my nap and enjoyed the lonely time of the morning when there are few distractions and plenty of time to think. I spent the time listening to instrumental music, talking with God, and thinking all sorts of thoughts. I like being up late into the night/morning, but don't get to do so very often.

I've been thinking about this thing called the stockdale paradox which talks about confronting the most difficult aspects of your present situation while believing that you will eventually truimph. Looking back on the past year of serving Christ in CT and looking forward to the next I am very aware of my need for faith in God. I don't want to be merely optimistic, but to trust God's call and wisdom in leading us here and believe that he will work despite various difficulties.

eating our way through the day

2008-11-10T17:45:00.004-06:00

This past weekend we were visiting EPC, the church I went to while I was a student at the University of Delaware. Hillary and I were participating in the missions conference, sharing about our ministry in CT. It was a great time as I caught up with many that I hadn't seen in a while and was able to introduce Hillary to them. Furthermore, they had guests from Chile and Northern Mexico who described God's work in these areas. I had fun using my broken Spanish to communicate with a couple serving in Saltillo Mexico and was encouraged through my interactions with these different people. We stayed with a family that I knew while I was a student and were pampered by their wonderful hospitality. They continued to bring us snacks, and ask if we would like some tea. Between these treats, sharing meals as part of the conference, and getting together with some other friends over coffee, Hillary remarked "it seems like we are eating our way through the day." We drove back this afternoon and are glad to be back in town.

the communion of the saints

2008-11-03T12:42:00.004-06:00

I've been reflecting more this past week about what it means to live as a group of Christians and not just as an individual believer. Here are a few thoughts that have come to min. Ephesians 5 talks about Christians being imitators of God and as we were talking about how this plays out in the church the image of a mosiac came to mind. Each tile, on its own is nothing special but when put together in the right order and place, these little colored pieces form beatiful pictures. Each Christian cannot imitate the full nature and beauty of God, but if you put enough people together who are trying to live so that God is seen, a picture emerges. As I think about this reality, I realize why some churches or Christian movements have been attracted to the notion of a mosiac. Here are two quotes which I came across while reading...

"many Americans... in the contemporary church ... treat churches like leased automobiles, trading in the old one in for a new one every five years."

"But after we have done our best to communicate to a lost world, still we must never foget that the final apologetic which Jesus gives is the observable love of true Christians for true Christians"

pregnancy, rappelling, excitement

2008-10-27T18:10:00.004-05:00

This has been an exciting week for us. Hillary and I went public with being pregnant and got all sorts of great responses. In case you haven't heard she is in week 13 and is doing well overall. There nausea, which sadly is not limited to the morning. Thus, there are good days, bad days, and plenty of ones in between. It is a challenge to love each other and respond well through quickly changing circumstances.
Another fun part of this week was taking some teenage guys from church and teaching some outdoor skills, one of which was rappelling. All three of them took the leap and safely descended. I love to share this kind of stuff with others.
Lastly, this was my first Sunday serving communion and leading worship, all of which was pretty cool. At some points it was a little difficult to connect with what I was doing, because I was trying to remember the various things I needed to say, as well as not drop the commuion plate or something like that. It turned out well though, and I am looking forward to being regularly involved in those aspects of public worship.

ordination part 3

2008-10-24T14:17:00.002-05:00

So I am finally finishing up my original ideas. Ordination was like getting married - sorta. I was up there taking vows (to be faithful to God, scriptures, his church etc) and kept saying, "I do." And I realized hey, this was like getting married: it is a new stage of a relationship, it makes sense and feels right but is still scary, there is privilege and responsibility, and it is a neat ceremony with huge implications. Being ordained means a lot of things. Primarily is a sing of the church's recognition of God's call on my life. The church is setting me apart to serve God as a pastor and bestowing on me the authority/power of that office. Authority and power can have negative connotations in our culture, but in myself I don't have either of those. I was set apart as someone who represents God and therefore mediates his authority and power. Again, this is a daunting responsibility and an undeserved privilege. I'm sure I'll understand this much more as I head along this path.

ordination continued

2008-10-21T10:31:00.004-05:00

Here are pictures of the elders laying hands on me and me giving the benediction. It's kinda funy that someone snaped I photo during the benediction, but that's cool. Anyway, I'll try to give more commentary on the service and everything, but that'll have to wait. It is like I'm blogging in installments this week.

I do

2008-10-20T18:22:00.003-05:00

I was ordained yesterday and would love to tell you about it, but my computer is thwarting my purposes as I am unable to upload pictures or write a full paragraph. I've written and somehow deleted a longer post twice in the past 10 minutes and don't think I could bear it a third time, so I'll put up pictures and details sometime later.

working and resting

2008-10-13T17:59:00.003-05:00

This past week Hillary and I had a good time as we traveled to Washington DC to visit a childhood friend. We've known each other since kindergarten and were born on the 26th and 27th of November. It was enjoyable being away and DC is a pretty cool town. We went to various Smithsonian museums, checked out the Zoo, and some national monuments, and overall got to see a lot. Two things which I'll highlight are a video, called The Way Things Go, and this piece made up of coat hangers, which were both at the Hershorn Museum. While it was fun being away I had a hard time relaxing as I was thinking about the stuff I needed to do when I got back, but being back, it has all worked out. There is a lot of freedom and peace that I could have experienced by trusting God. Our trip back was a little crazy as it involved 3car rides, 1 bus, 3subways and two trains. I've got a little cold but am getting better. Before we left I preached on Sunday and that went well. It is a great privilege and a joy to do so. If you are interested in listening follow the link to our church's website.

one for now, maybe both ends later

2008-09-29T13:26:00.004-05:00

So I was thinking about the expression, of burning the candle at both ends and I'm not there yet but I might be by the end of the week. I'm preaching this Sunday, which isn't normal, so I'm excited, but definitely feeling the time crunch. As I woke up this morning, I was thinking about needing to write a sermon between now and Sunday and before I got overwhelmed, I remembered that God cares. I know that sounds pretty simple, but if God cares about his people and preaching is an important thing in caring for them and strengthening faith he'll take care of me. This doesn't mean that I am going to slack off or something, but that the responsibility of it all doesn't rest on my shoulders. Jesus said to the weary and heavy laden that we should take his yoke upon him and learn from him because he is gentle and lowly in heart and under him we will find rest for our souls. This is a wonderful promise and something that I need to hold onto.

Fixed

2008-09-15T09:32:00.002-05:00

Wow! I just received word that my computer is fixed and I shouldn't have lost anything. How excellent!

ka-boom, but hopefully not

2008-09-15T08:57:00.002-05:00

There was this slightly nagging voice in my head a week or two ago, telling me that it has been a while since I've backed up my laptop. I agreed and thought I should do something about it and then put it off. Then Friday night when I went to turn my laptop on I unpleasantly surprised when things did not work. I'm not sure if it is a total loss or if it can be fixed but I'm having it looked at right now.
It is really strange as to how I can feel somewhat lost without my computer, as I am unsure what to do next. I know there were some emails I needed to respond to. I distinctly remember documents I had to print out, and I find myself remembering all these files which I would love to access today. Regardless of how my computer situation works out this is an important week as we have our first Youth Group of the fall, start a bible study, resume volunteering at the Elmwood Community Center, and go before Presbytery on Saturday. We had our kick off event for teens this Friday night and had a great time as 7 kids came over to our house and enjoyed a night of recovery from the school overdose they had been experiencing.