feet first

It was over three years ago now that I jumped into the blogging world and today I'm stepping back out. It has been a good way to give others the opportunity to keep track of our lives and in some ways I've enjoyed it. I don't know that I would describe myself as a writer, but I do like to write. I think it is the sense of responsibility and the regularity of maintaining a blog that puts me off. When an idea strikes me or I'm working on a something I care about I'm drawn in and the words flow. At points this happened with the blog, but it wasn't the norm.

So, as I say goodbye here are my final thoughts:

I'm reading an excellent book, which has been deeply encouraging. I don't know if it is some of what is happening in life or if I would have gotten this much out of this book anytime I'd have read it. Spurgeon is both witty, wise, and intimately familiar with Christ and his ways. At different points I've laughed, cried, been encouraged, challenged, and felt God speaking to me.

As you can see Wesley is growing and we are glad for the little boy he is becoming. He is a baby no longer. This is the first week where he's been fully healthy since mid-December, so that has been nice. The down side is that Hillary is sick and has had some sort of illness for the past few weeks. She told me that her perseverance is running out and I can appreciate where she's coming from. Life is pretty full for me as I preach twice this month and I set up the youth calendar from now until June in the next week or so. If you've been keeping up with our blog and would like to know how to stay in touch please contact me us and we'll make sure you get our newsletters.

To close things down here's a quote from Ecclesiastes that I love. It wraps up that enigmatic and beautiful book so well: Of making many books there is no end, and much study is weariness of the flesh. The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.

NYC

Saturday I took a group of teens from our church to hang out in New York for the day and it was exciting. We just made our train from New Haven to Grand Central and same thing on the way back. That morning I told them that whenver I go to New York there is at least one train that I catch just before it leaves the station. I'm kind of used to this, but hopefully it wasn't too stressfull for them. In describing our trip I'll use the first three leters of the alphabet to tell the story...
A: A is for active. Even though I expect the amount of activity in New York it still surprises me. There is so much of everything and it is always in motion. This was the first time there for some of our teens and at points they were definitely overwhelmed. Asking one of the girls on the way home what she thought of it, she responded with uncertainty. Sometimes it is hard to know what to make of the relentlesness of the city. I can see how it could wear you down.
B: B is for beautiful. Above you see some of us standing in this little enclave just off 5th avenue where there are tables and chairs scattered under trees with this beautiful waterfall in the background. The water runs down over uneven stones so that is sounds just like water cascading down rocks in a hidden area of the woods. Everywhere we went there were subtle and overwhelming scenes of beauty, and we only saw a tiny portion of the city. One of the most important things to remember when I think about beauty and New Yor is the people. Everyone you rush by is an actual person with families, friends, joys, sorrows, and stories. When you put all these people together, you see something greater than this little waterfall. New York would be terrifying with no people.
C: C is for commerce. It was interesteing to see the line outside of FAO Schwartz, the iconic toystore, the was four people across and wrapped around to the back of the block. There was also the line outside of the UGG store, Holister, and maybe some other ones. This is somewhat to be expected when you go down 5th Avenue around Christmas time, but it is interesting to stop and think how many people come to New York just to buy things. There is this incredible ammount of commerce that is happening every single moment of every single day. This isn't inherently bad because economies involve buying and selling goods. What if all the people coming to New York to shop for a day or days, did something else? What if everyone came into New York to clean the city, improve the urban landscape, color with sidewalk chalk, partner with non-profits and other service agencies? This isn't to lament or denigrate shopping, because I bought my wife Christmas presents, but maybe another way of looking at things.

Falling behind and ridding the wave...

So, the past two weeks I've been putting off blogging, somewhat out of busyness and also because I'm not sure what to write. Here's the laundry list of what's been happening:

-Hillary and I took four people from church to a counseling conference (Nov 14-17) and we're working on further developing our counseling ministry team. This was an important trip to solidify what we've begun and it will be neat to see what happens as we move into the new year.

-We went away for a night to the Dorset inn (see pic by kidgrifter) where we celebrated five years of marriage. It was wonderful.

-I've turned thirty while spending time with family and friends over Thanksgiving break. It was great to have time with my parents and extended family. Wesley especially enjoyed himself.

-I've worked on plans and goals for ministry in the upcoming year. It has been good to prayerfully create specific objectives that I can work towards in my different areas of responsibility. The biggest challenge will be doing what I've committed to.

-I've finished a great book, Culture Making by Andy Crouch and am processing the thoughts.

-I've had significant conversations about the gospel with individuals who don't believe it yet. This is very exciting and I see some neat opportunities on the horizon.

-We've had lots of people in our home. Hillary threw a surprise party for me this Saturday and 3oish people came by. We continue to enjoy having neighbors, friends, and people from church in our home. Two Sunday's ago we had about eight teens over for lunch and discussion of 1 Timothy 5. It was a delight to be together and to be challenged by the truths of God's word.

-For the next few weeks, life at church is somewhat low key, but then there is a wave that will take me into the new year and we'll have to see where it goes. There is a ministry opportunity at a local college campus and it could be just a small ripple or something much bigger. In talking with the leaders at the church the thought is that I take the surfer approach and start paddling with the wave. If it is a big one, then it will take me and I'll ride it. If not, we'll see soon enough and turn around to paddle out to another wave.

When the Christmas music begins...

Hillary and I were talking about when you start playing the Christmas music and we both agreed that it begins after Thanksgiving. Then, as I was reading in my office today and was getting sleepy I put on some music through Pandora (an Internet radio service). I didn't like the music on the station I was on, so my hand drifted and before I knew it I had selected the Christmas station. When I told Hillary tonight, she said how she'd been wanting to listen to Christmas music as well, and it is on in the background right now. A close friend of mine actually starts listening in late October!
This is an exciting time of year and I'm looking forward to turning my focus towards the coming of the child/king Jesus Christ. I heard one author refer to the incarnation as the "glorious impossibility." It is mind blowing to think of God taking on flesh. There are readings that I go through each year at advent and it is good for my soul to walk that same path year in and out. Following God's story from the beginning of the Hebrew Scriptures through the prophets to the birth of Jesus and then beyond is a wonderful journey on which to participate.

The beautiful end of fall

On Monday, I was in New Haven meeting with one of our community group leaders over lunch and as I left the parking garage there was this stuffing view of blue skies and the profile of the city. Then yesterday Hillary was raking and Wesley was romping in the leaves. With the blue sky, the bright green grass, and the various yellows and browns of the leaves it made me glad for fall. This week has been a little nuts with different meetings and getting things sorted for a conference I'm headed to this weekend. Six of us from church are headed to a counseling Conference down in VA on marriage. It should be a great time of learning, refreshment, and hopefully direction for the counseling ministry at our church. My parents will have Wesley for a few days while we're gone, so it should be an exciting adventure for all.
For the past few months I've continued to think a lot about leadership. It is on my mind more and more, and I wish that I had more to say so far. The big conslusions, are that it is difficult and I can't avoid it. I will be a good leader or a bad leader, but regardless, I will lead. God is definitely refining me and I need to see what he wants me to see. I'm glad that my worth and identity are in Christ, not in my success, progress, or achievements.

back in Delaware

Twelve years ago as a Freshman in college I arrived at the university of Delaware and had no idea I would end up where I am. This weekend I was back in the area for a missions conference at the church I attended through college. It was both fun and a little strange to step back into that world, now that I'm at a totally different place in life. Thinking about my connection to E.P. (Evangelical Presbyterian - the name of the church) there are a few things that come to mind:
-a place of training and development: EP is the first church that I was really connected to as an adult and they took a lot of time to train and develop me. When I first attended there I had no idea what a Presbyterian church was and had a very slim understanding of theology. There were all sorts of people who taught me and then gave me opportunities to use what I had learned. In retrospect I see how important this investment was.
-a place of direction and support: Between my Jr. and Sr. years at college I had a summer internship working with the teenagers at E.P. It was through this time and subsequent conversations that I ended up heading to seminary and then into ministry. There were all sorts of precursors to this decision, but it was the experience of working for the church that helped bring it all together. Then when I went to seminary and eventually came to New England the church was there to help make it happen. Even being there this past weekend I feel like there was guidance that I was able to receive so that I can better serve here in CT.
-a place of friendship: Coming back, after twelve years of being connected it is great to run into people I've known and been loved by over the years. Those long term relationships mean a lot, and it is refreshing to be around people who knew me in my college years.

bicycles and hitting the downhills

Wesley has hit Christmas a little early early this year since we got him (and us) a child's bicycle seat. We figured it'd be silly to wait until December when it is too cold and icy to ride, so we've been enjoying it the past few weeks. We keep the bikes and seat ready to go in our SUV since we have the space and our garage is occupied with materials for my climbing wally. So far Wesley seems to like the box most of all. It forms an awesome tunnel to craw through and a formidable tower to smash and knock over. Hillary and I have definitely enjoyed the times we've been able to take him out for rides, though it is a little different getting used to the weight distribution near the back of the bicycle. With him on the bike I cruise even faster on the downhills, but I need to be even more in control.
With ministry as of late I feel like it is an interesting mix of terrain. Sometime I'm peddling hard to make it up a long incline and am surprised to find that it evens out sooner than I thought. At other points I think I get to cruise and instead it is a long uphill push. At our prayer meeting last night one of the people praying was referring to Isaiah 6 where Isaiah says, "Here I am. Send me." She confessed that for a while she had been saying, "I'm here..." non-chalantly and had a growing sense that she must say, "Here I am!" I could identify with what she said and I think God has been teaching me to be more deliberate and purposeful in my work. I've been thinking more and more about leadership and have been asking God to lead me to be a leader. I think he is taking me along that path.