overdue but worth the wait...

So, it has been almost two weeks since I have posted and such negligence is inexcusable. Anyway, I figured I would make the wait worthwhile by posting the images from our ultrasound. This is "baby A" and we don't know whether we'll be having a boy or girl. We don't want to find out and the ultrasound tech. said she couldn't tell anyway because the baby was squirming all over the place and sitting cross legged. Our child is already rambunctious and uncooperative - Hillary thinks the baby takes after me. It was pretty exciting to see the pictures and the baby and mother are continuing to grow and develop. We're headed up to Hillary's Dad's in New York and are pretty excited. Have a wonderful Christmas.

ultra sound

This past Thursday Hillary had her 18 week ultra-sound and we got to see the kido. She or he is healthy and developing fine, but was rather squirmy and uncooperative - Hillary joked that the baby takes after me. While the technician, nurse, and doctor were trying to measure femurs and the nose bone the baby was wiggling all over the place, so it was kinda difficult for them to get accurate measurements. At other points the baby was sitting in such a manner where you could mostly just see his or her feet. It was a good thing we didn't know the sex of the baby because we wouldn't have been able to tell due to her or his position and squirminess. The ultra-sound is more fun in retrospect than it was in person. We were there for a while and it was often hard to tell what we were looking at. I accidentally dozed off for a few minutes (we were sitting in a dark and warm room - that spells trouble for me staying awake). We'll try to scan some of the pictures and put them online for you all to see.

getting on track

I find, that when I'm out of town, even for a day or two it is hard to jump back into the rhythm of things. It is like when I am backing into our driveway and accidentally run up on the logs which mark our flower beds - there is always a few seconds before you can get off. If you jerk the wheel hard and try to get right back on track you can careen into the hedge on the other side, so you just need to ease it back towards equilibrium. With coming and going for Thanksgiving, Weddings, and various other things I'm feeling like it is hard to reach equilibrium. This especially plays out in setting time apart to spend with God and doing the same with Hillary. Self-discipline and intentionality are much harder as life continues to change, but I think I will learn even more about this reality once we have kids - yikes. My mom noted that I often change the subject when she brings up us having a child and how I feel about it. I'm excited and nervous, and realize that however much or little I think about it I will continue to be nervous and excited. Oh well.

turkey birthday

This Thursday is pretty awesome because I get to celebrate Thanksgiving and my birthday. I am convinced that the Thanksgiving/Birthday combo is the ultimate in birthday/holiday combinations. There is a large family gathering with excellent food, and you get presents. There aren't other disctractions like fireworks (4th of July), parades (Vetrans Day) or everyone being out of town (Memorial Day). Unlike the Christmas/Birthday combo there is little danger of double gifting (one gift which "covers" Christmas and Birthday). In addition it is generally expected that you will watch football and lie around, both of which I enjoy. As you can probably tell I am pretty excited. The best part will be spending time at home with my family and just relaxing. I've got a few good books packed - two serious and one that's pure fun. I hope you enjoy your Thanksgiving as well.

driving through the night and Admiral Stockdale

Hillary started driving around 10pm and I as lay there in the reclined car seat I was staring up following the moon as its light reflected off scattered clouds. It was a beatiful evening twisting and cruving along Interstate 81 as we traveled through Virginia and West Virginia into Pennsylvania. I had the 12:40-5am shift at the wheel and the first two and a half hours were great. I was rested from my nap and enjoyed the lonely time of the morning when there are few distractions and plenty of time to think. I spent the time listening to instrumental music, talking with God, and thinking all sorts of thoughts. I like being up late into the night/morning, but don't get to do so very often.

I've been thinking about this thing called the stockdale paradox which talks about confronting the most difficult aspects of your present situation while believing that you will eventually truimph. Looking back on the past year of serving Christ in CT and looking forward to the next I am very aware of my need for faith in God. I don't want to be merely optimistic, but to trust God's call and wisdom in leading us here and believe that he will work despite various difficulties.

eating our way through the day

This past weekend we were visiting EPC, the church I went to while I was a student at the University of Delaware. Hillary and I were participating in the missions conference, sharing about our ministry in CT. It was a great time as I caught up with many that I hadn't seen in a while and was able to introduce Hillary to them. Furthermore, they had guests from Chile and Northern Mexico who described God's work in these areas. I had fun using my broken Spanish to communicate with a couple serving in Saltillo Mexico and was encouraged through my interactions with these different people. We stayed with a family that I knew while I was a student and were pampered by their wonderful hospitality. They continued to bring us snacks, and ask if we would like some tea. Between these treats, sharing meals as part of the conference, and getting together with some other friends over coffee, Hillary remarked "it seems like we are eating our way through the day." We drove back this afternoon and are glad to be back in town.

the communion of the saints

I've been reflecting more this past week about what it means to live as a group of Christians and not just as an individual believer. Here are a few thoughts that have come to min. Ephesians 5 talks about Christians being imitators of God and as we were talking about how this plays out in the church the image of a mosiac came to mind. Each tile, on its own is nothing special but when put together in the right order and place, these little colored pieces form beatiful pictures. Each Christian cannot imitate the full nature and beauty of God, but if you put enough people together who are trying to live so that God is seen, a picture emerges. As I think about this reality, I realize why some churches or Christian movements have been attracted to the notion of a mosiac. Here are two quotes which I came across while reading...

"many Americans... in the contemporary church ... treat churches like leased automobiles, trading in the old one in for a new one every five years."

"But after we have done our best to communicate to a lost world, still we must never foget that the final apologetic which Jesus gives is the observable love of true Christians for true Christians"

pregnancy, rappelling, excitement

This has been an exciting week for us. Hillary and I went public with being pregnant and got all sorts of great responses. In case you haven't heard she is in week 13 and is doing well overall. There nausea, which sadly is not limited to the morning. Thus, there are good days, bad days, and plenty of ones in between. It is a challenge to love each other and respond well through quickly changing circumstances.
Another fun part of this week was taking some teenage guys from church and teaching some outdoor skills, one of which was rappelling. All three of them took the leap and safely descended. I love to share this kind of stuff with others.
Lastly, this was my first Sunday serving communion and leading worship, all of which was pretty cool. At some points it was a little difficult to connect with what I was doing, because I was trying to remember the various things I needed to say, as well as not drop the commuion plate or something like that. It turned out well though, and I am looking forward to being regularly involved in those aspects of public worship.

ordination part 3

So I am finally finishing up my original ideas. Ordination was like getting married - sorta. I was up there taking vows (to be faithful to God, scriptures, his church etc) and kept saying, "I do." And I realized hey, this was like getting married: it is a new stage of a relationship, it makes sense and feels right but is still scary, there is privilege and responsibility, and it is a neat ceremony with huge implications. Being ordained means a lot of things. Primarily is a sing of the church's recognition of God's call on my life. The church is setting me apart to serve God as a pastor and bestowing on me the authority/power of that office. Authority and power can have negative connotations in our culture, but in myself I don't have either of those. I was set apart as someone who represents God and therefore mediates his authority and power. Again, this is a daunting responsibility and an undeserved privilege. I'm sure I'll understand this much more as I head along this path.

ordination continued

Here are pictures of the elders laying hands on me and me giving the benediction. It's kinda funy that someone snaped I photo during the benediction, but that's cool. Anyway, I'll try to give more commentary on the service and everything, but that'll have to wait. It is like I'm blogging in installments this week.

I do

I was ordained yesterday and would love to tell you about it, but my computer is thwarting my purposes as I am unable to upload pictures or write a full paragraph. I've written and somehow deleted a longer post twice in the past 10 minutes and don't think I could bear it a third time, so I'll put up pictures and details sometime later.

working and resting

This past week Hillary and I had a good time as we traveled to Washington DC to visit a childhood friend. We've known each other since kindergarten and were born on the 26th and 27th of November. It was enjoyable being away and DC is a pretty cool town. We went to various Smithsonian museums, checked out the Zoo, and some national monuments, and overall got to see a lot. Two things which I'll highlight are a video, called The Way Things Go, and this piece made up of coat hangers, which were both at the Hershorn Museum. While it was fun being away I had a hard time relaxing as I was thinking about the stuff I needed to do when I got back, but being back, it has all worked out. There is a lot of freedom and peace that I could have experienced by trusting God. Our trip back was a little crazy as it involved 3car rides, 1 bus, 3subways and two trains. I've got a little cold but am getting better. Before we left I preached on Sunday and that went well. It is a great privilege and a joy to do so. If you are interested in listening follow the link to our church's website.

one for now, maybe both ends later

So I was thinking about the expression, of burning the candle at both ends and I'm not there yet but I might be by the end of the week. I'm preaching this Sunday, which isn't normal, so I'm excited, but definitely feeling the time crunch. As I woke up this morning, I was thinking about needing to write a sermon between now and Sunday and before I got overwhelmed, I remembered that God cares. I know that sounds pretty simple, but if God cares about his people and preaching is an important thing in caring for them and strengthening faith he'll take care of me. This doesn't mean that I am going to slack off or something, but that the responsibility of it all doesn't rest on my shoulders. Jesus said to the weary and heavy laden that we should take his yoke upon him and learn from him because he is gentle and lowly in heart and under him we will find rest for our souls. This is a wonderful promise and something that I need to hold onto.

Fixed

Wow! I just received word that my computer is fixed and I shouldn't have lost anything. How excellent!

ka-boom, but hopefully not

There was this slightly nagging voice in my head a week or two ago, telling me that it has been a while since I've backed up my laptop. I agreed and thought I should do something about it and then put it off. Then Friday night when I went to turn my laptop on I unpleasantly surprised when things did not work. I'm not sure if it is a total loss or if it can be fixed but I'm having it looked at right now.
It is really strange as to how I can feel somewhat lost without my computer, as I am unsure what to do next. I know there were some emails I needed to respond to. I distinctly remember documents I had to print out, and I find myself remembering all these files which I would love to access today. Regardless of how my computer situation works out this is an important week as we have our first Youth Group of the fall, start a bible study, resume volunteering at the Elmwood Community Center, and go before Presbytery on Saturday. We had our kick off event for teens this Friday night and had a great time as 7 kids came over to our house and enjoyed a night of recovery from the school overdose they had been experiencing.

exploding plate

Sometimes as I'm thinking about life, certain images will come to mind. It has been a busy few weeks as I've been getting into the fall with youth and children's stuff starting up. I was thinking, oh man, my plate is full. But as I was thinking about it, I thought, "My plate is more than full, it is bursting!" Sometimes it adds up and it can weigh down on me, but so much of it is my attitude. When things get overwhelming inside my head I can get discouraged pretty easily. But as I was thinking about it, God never told me life would be easy. Actually, Jesus talks a lot about suffering and remaining steadfast despite difficulty. It is amazing how a small shift in my thinking makes me feel so different. So, even if my plate is exploding at points, I can still have joy. I can still love the people around. I can still move forward and be faithful in the things God has called me to. Knowing that there is a loving, wise, and strong God behind the various circumstances and exploding plates makes life workable

planes, trains, and automobiles

We just returned from our mid-west tour on Saturday and it was a great trip. We flew into Madison and visited friends and their church missions team and then drove to O'Hare. From there we took the train downtown and hung out for a few hours until we boarded the Megabus for St. Louis. There we stayed with friends and connected with most of our donors in St. Louis. We did a presentation at Church on Sunday and I got to do a reading during the service and pray. After St. Louis we headed to Kansas City to see two families there and then flew back to Hartford after 10 days of travel. It was a full, but great time as we were able to strengthen relationships, update others on life here, and be encouraged by others. It was good to take a step back from the various details which can be overwhelming and look at the big picture of what God has been up to the past 11months we've been in CT. Thanks for all of you who made time to hang out with us and we wish we had a few more days so we could see everyone, but sadly that wasn't possible.

concert central and goodbye

This past week Hillary and I went to a free outdoor concert in Ridgefield Park, which is ~an hour southwest of us. It was a beautiful night with clear skies, no humidity, and temps in the low 70's. (Summer in Ct is amazing) We got there early, had a picnic dinner, and had seats about 20ft from the stage. We saw the band Over the Rhine and they put on a spectacular show. The excellent weather, stunning performance, and quality of music all came together as an wonderful experience.

The downer for the week was the departure of close friends who we serve with at church. Mark is taking a job with a church in SC and it is all very exciting, except for their moving away. Over the past year we've been able to share a lot of life and were looking forward to more of the same. But the coming and going is part of life and something to mourn and celebrate. We're thakful and somewhat sad. Now the adventure continues of opening our lives to new and different people.

Last but not least, we'll be out of town in WI, MO, and KS next week so I won't be blogging.

Mt. Washington

This past week 5 guys from church (2 teens, three adults) went up to the White Mountain National Forest in New Hampshire. It was a beautiful drive with very little traffice and excellent scenery. As we were about to cross from Vermont to NH we realized we were only a half hour from Quebec. That's pretty cool eh? Hillary needs to get her passport, but we would like to head up into Canada next year.

Here are the low points:

-rain fly on Jarrett's tent did not perform well, leading to a wet sleeping bag

-two of those coming arrived late (next morning) because of low gas/getting a little lost, I woke up a few times to shine my flash light out of the tent to see if they were there and saw nothing. I kept telling myself they were sleeping out somewhere, which was true

Here are the high points:

-the White Mountains are beautiful

-it was an intense hike and 4 out of the 5 made it to the summitt

-we only got rained on during the hike down

-everyone had fun and no one was hurt (except for the sore muscles)

loving the outdoors and a good book

I got to go camping with some guys from church this past Friday night and am headed on a trip to the White Mountains of New Hampshire at the end of the week. I am loving it. It makes me so happy to be outside, that sometimes I find myself just looking around with this silly grin on my face. The trip this past week was great, except for me not bringing enough charcoal. We had to finish off our burgers on a frying pan over the camp stove. Otherwise, it was a great time of being together. It is wonderful when there is nothing particular that you need to do and you can just talk, watch the fire, play cards or whatever.

Yesterday I finished The Wounded Heart, which I've been reading for the past 2 months. This is an excellent book which is very insightful as it considers the terrible damage which can be inflicted upon the human soul and examines the various responses to life in a broken world. I could say a bunch, but one of the primary things I've begun to understand from reading this book, is the role that contempt plays in my life. Dan Allender (the author), talks about self contempt and other centered as ways by which we deaden ourselves to the disappointments and hurts that life throws at us. Here's the quick example: going out to dinner you deeply desire a Philly cheese steak, but at the restaurant they don't have it on the menu. In coping with disappointment you can engage in self-contempt, "Why am I being so stupid, being upset over a cheese steak." Or you can engage in other - centered contempt, "This restaurant is terrible" or, "that was such a bad choice to come here" (directed to the person who chose the place). This may seem kinda silly, but if you look for it, I think you'll find contempt for yourself and others is rampant. That's some of what I have seen.

a few pics to summarize

I'm a day late for posting this week and I'm okay with it. Yesterday was a good day of spending time with teenagers and accomplishing some good things. We had a lunch discussion at a fast food place called, "Five Guys Burgers and Fries." We talked about this article on hell (teenager's choice) and it worked out okay. I'm not sure if theology lunch discussions work or not, but it was a good thing to try out.

Anyway, below are some pictures from the Hartford Project and a little shot of Mt. Washington where we will take some teens hiking next week. I am super psyched.

Love Wins on Barbour St. - Carnival in a rough part of the city, clothes closet, 2 bouncys,

packing lunch, prayer walk: in front of gov. housing specifically for grandmoms raising grandkids and Mt. Washington is on the right

time in NY

This past week the church staff went up to Hillary's dad's farm for a brief retreat. It was a great time together as we went tubing down the Batenkill, took walks around the farm, enjoyed meals together, and strengthened our relationships. We (staff and families) were there a little over 24hrs and we'll hopefully be able to go for a little longer next year, but it was a great opportunity just to be together. There is something about time spent over meals, walking, and sharing experiences that is important. It is easy to be task driven and we took somewhat of a respite from the continual motion to be together without a big agenda. Thursday night, before the mosquitoes were too bad, we enjoyed a cool evening and sat outside reflecting on the past year. We talked about what God has taught us, the health of our marriages, and our hopes for the next year. I am very thankful to serve with these friends.

in between

This past week (Weds-Saturday) we were in the Poconos staying at Club Chateau on the Lackawaxen River. The name sounds luxurious, but as Hillary opened the trap door and walked down the stairs into the basement to use the shower she didn't sense the luxury. My family started going there about 10 years ago when my uncle was a member and it grew into a 4th of July tradition that whoever could make it would be there for the weekend. It is a pretty low key affair as we sit on the porch, watching the river go by, eat three to four meals a day, and have a fire in the evening. We also go on a hike, read, play games, kayak, and do some fishing. It is an extremely relaxing time. This was the first year that Hillary came and it was a lot of fun to introduce her to a neat experience that I have always enjoyed.

We got back Saturday and Hillary left Sunday afternoon for her Dad's. She'll be up there this week and on Thursday I will join her along with the rest of our church staff for a brief retreat. We'll hang out around the farm, go swimming, and take a trip into town. So right now I'm a little out of sorts as I am between two trips away and am having one of those days where it seems like very little is getting done.

a fun week

This past week involved a flurry of activity at church as we had a missions team come in from Alabama and teens from our church going on a trip to serve in the city of Hartford. I had various responsibilities for both of these projects and was a little harried going into the week, but looking back it was definitely worth it.
The team from Alabama lead a children's program in the North End of Hartford, helped train children's ministry workers, and connected with people at our church. The children's program went well after we figured out that we needed to move the start time from 9am to 11:30am.
Five teenagers from our church participated in the Hartford Project, also serving in the North End of Hartford. There were about 140 of us from 10 different churches who, through various service projects, prayer, and loving the community were able to make an impact on a really tough part of the city. It was exciting to be a part of and see God work. There are many neat stories which I will hopefully relay in future posts, but as I had a full week last week, this week I'm going to the poconos with my family for the 4th of July.

graduation thoughts

June is an exciting time for high school students (actually all students) and their respective families. We've attended graduations and graduation parties and moving towards a summer schedule. Kids have more time when they are around, but are gone (vacation, camp etc) more frequently.

Here are my thoughts on a graduation ceremony that I attended at a public high school in the area. The students value service, compassion, helping the community, and turning from selfishness towards the needs of others. Sadly, they find no basis in reality for these values. The question of whether our lives have meaning was raised again and again, but was never answered. Students wanted to avoid the cliche sayings of "giving back" and "paying it forward," saying there was not a basis for telling people to do this, but one girl said, that even though these are cliches I am going to tell you to do this anyway. It was a sad occasion because teens had this sense of being made for loving and serving others, but found no basis for that in their view of the world. If there is no God then we have no ultimate obligation to each other and can't really say that you should love and serve instead of exploiting and using. Each of us wants to say, "you should serve and not exploit. You should love and not use people." Yet without a God who truly exists and provides some external standard we are left with no ground from which to make such statements.

half-way up the mountain

This was a rather action packed weekend here as I was leading our church's participat in Celebrate West Hartord, a large town fair and arts show, and then preaching the next day. We had a booth where we helped kids decorate plastic visors with all sorts of foam stickers. There were animal shapes, letters to spell your name, sports shapes and geometric designs which kids could attach to their visors. We also had candy, dog biscuts, baloons, and info about our church. It was a fun, but somewhat draining time. It was a hot and humid day which ended in a huge thunderstorm that blew over some tents and shut down the fair an hour or so early. We had about a dozen different folks from the church involved in manning our booth, and had a killer team of mothers come up with the ideas of what we would do at our booth. It was a good way to be out and simply deepen our connections with the community.

The second part of the weekend, that was both exciting and tiring was preaching on Sunday. If you are interested you can follow this link and listen to my sermon (just scroll down a little and you'll see it - our webpage is in the midst of being revamped). The sermon went well. People were challenged and encouraged, though I forgot some of the things I had meant to say. It is exciting to be able to communicate truth to others, and I felt a lot of freedom in offering my preaching as my service to God regardless of what people throught. It was good and a little scary that people were helped by what I said. There are ways in which I want to be used by God, but there is a real responsibility which is tied into it all and that is what freaks me out a little bit.

The rest of the way up the mountain will be a children's program and service trip with teenagers, both in the city of Hartford next week.

Vacation and a jump into the river

For about 6 days Hillary and I traveled with her Dad to see Hillary's sitester and her family in Columbia, SC. We had a fun time. Here are some of the highlights:

-Vaughn and Aquilla telling silly jokes: "Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Bannana Peanutbutter. Hahahaha (girls laughing and then retelling the joke substituing just about anything for the punch line).

-Visiting the art Museuem in Columbia

-Jarrett took Vaughn rock climbing and she liked it

-Holding Blaize, Lydia and Chris's newest child (~6months)

-going out for ice cream

-overall, spending time together

Jumping into a river: That is what it feels like coming back into town. There is this flow of events and activities rushing towards June and we feel like coming back we have hopped in and are being carried along in the current. There is a mix of anxiety and excitement as we head into two weeks full of good but challenging things. I've written about most of this in our most recent news letter, so if you haven't gotten that and are interested, let me know. The main thing I didn't mention is that I am preaching this Sunday. This is exciting but adds a lot to my week. Pray for Hillary and I as we try to navigate the next two weeks.

So which is it?

I had the opportunity to attend a friend's wedding this weekend in Pittsburgh, PA and enjoyed being with good friends from college and of course seeing my friend get married. In the various circumstances connected to the wedding (travel, time of from work, interractions with friends, disruption of normal routine, and returning to a full week) I have this sense of our weakness and frailty. As I think about my own life and look at what is going on with others there is this amazing mix of strength and weakness. There are these good things happening. Life is progressing, positive change, developing relationships, God at work - but I also see how one or two things could bring it all crashing down. Sometimes I look at life and see this stable, growing construction where our lives our being fashioned into something grand, and other times all I see is this house of cards ready to topple. (It is difficult to communicate this without relating the specifics of mine and other people's struggles - something I don't do on the internet.)

When I am feeling the tension between these two poles Hebrews 11 helps stabilize me. It talks about God's great story of joining the followers of Christ with men and women who by faith, followed God. There is all sorts of weakenss and fraility in the lives of these people, yet they are brought into this great big story of God saving the world. Here's one of my favorite parts... "Therfore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city."

PASSED

Just wanted to pass on the news that I received this week that I passed my National Counseling Exam!! Yahoo!! I wasn't expecting to hear yet so when I received the envelope I felt like I was back in high school, waiting to find out if I got into a particular college. Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement! The picture reflects a little of how I feel.

Boston and mixed resolution

This Saturday we took some teenagers from church (it ended up being 3) to Boston. It was a fun time traveling around the city but somewhat strange to look back on the day and realize we had not necessarily accomplished a lot. I'm still figuring out what sorts of activities work for this youth group and are worth the time/effort of planning. The three pictures are: boston in general, ride on the water taxi, Quincy Market.

There are two other areas of life we're we are woking on resolution: Hillary's knee and our day off. In talking with some different doctors, doing some reading, and thinking about Hillary's symptoms it seem like she has not re-torn her meniscus, but potentially has arthritis. We're still talking over our options and running the details by some various people, but it seems like we won't be headed towards surgery on her knee.

The other matter we're trying to figure out is how to spend my day off. Sundays and part of Saturdays I'm busy doing work type stuff, so I take Thursdays off instead. This works fine overall but it gets complicated when I think about what it means to rest. It is real easy to not stop moving on Thursdays - working in the yard, painting in the house, running errands, and trying to do something fun with Hillary. Sometimes I can wake up on Thursdays, not looking forward to the day. But, if we don't do some of this stuff on Thursdays then there isn't a good chunk of time to do so. I'm not sure about doing the yard work, house projects, and errands on Sunday because that is the Sabbath - even though I "work" doing church type stuff. So far we haven't come up with any clear solutions.

birthday, camping, and the attributes of God

This past week was Hillary's birthday and we had a fun time celebrating. The picture on the left shows us at Rocky Neck State Park which is near Old Lyme, CT. We stayed at a B&B in Old Lyme, visited some art galaries, ate ice cream, bought used books, went out to dinner and enjoyed spending time together. The Old Lyme - Old Saybrook area is down on the coast of CT and has some beautiful homes and neat things to do, but it is much smaller than we thought. We sort of ran out of things to do, so we came back and did some gardening in our yard.

After celebrating Hillary's birthday, I also had the opportunity to go camping with some friends Friday to Saturday. Jim, a close friend from college, is getting married in two weeks. For his bachelor party six of us met in the Poconos (mountains in PA) and had a great time hiking, cooking, haning out, and just being outside - despite the blase weather.

A third thing, which has been enjoyable is teaching on the attributes of God. Sunday mornings I have about 45 mins with the teens to try to describe realities like God's asceity, omnipotence, omnscience, immutablity, and goodness. These aren't topics I normally get to reflect on, and it has been stimulating (intellectually and for my faith) to further consider who God is.

a kinda crazy Sunday

Somewhere between these two...

Getting things ready for Sunday is always a little stressful and sometimes it works better than others. This week was not so good in that there was a bunch of reschedueling of children's teachers, helpers, and then random sickness and events piled on top of it. There are 3-4 main things that I'm presently responsible for: children's sunday school (I don't teach this but help line up teachers etc.), explorers (a time of instruction for children during the sermon), teen sunday school (I usually teach this), and nursery (I help recruit new folks for this). So this week, due to pregnancies, travel, and sickness there were seven or so different holes that we had to fill with people. These came up at different points of the week and by Saturday I was somewhere in between trusting God and pulling my hair out. As different needs had come up earlier in the week they were filled and I was thankful to God for providing the people, but as abscences continued to come up Friday night and Saturday it was a little ridiculous. Now as you read this I hope you don't hear me balmming people, all of these reasons as to why people couldn't be there were totally legitimate. (I hear that teaching small children while fighting a nasty stomach bug is not a good idea.) Looking back, I can see that God took care of everything, but we definately need to think through a little more how to handle these situations. It is a lot easier in the moment to do something yourself, but I am seeing the increasing need for training others and developing leaders.

life and landscaping

So the bigger thing in life this past week was my meeting with the committee that would recommend me for ordination. Sadly, it did not go as I had thought it would and we still need to work through some issues. So, I am on a standby of sorts. I'll continue my job and everything, but the earliest I could be ordained is now pushed back till after the September Presbytery meeting. Between now and then I'll meet with the head of the leadership development committee and see if we can iron out some of the differences that we have in views. It is a little hard to know what to go into here since this is a complicated issue and the Internet is a public place. Here's how I'll describe it. The main issues is speaking in tongues. (if this is an unfamiliar term, then what I'm about to say will make even less sense). The big question is whether the gift of tongues is for today or was only for the apostolic period of the church. There are a variety of answers that people will give to this question and there is diversity even within the PCA (my denomination). The other point of contention is the intricacy of the issue and the ease with which miscommunication can occur. To get a feel where I am coming from you can follow this link and scroll down to the pertinent section. I am hopeful that we'll work through the issues and that I'll be ordained. While this experience has been difficult, I have definitely learned and grown through it.

The not so big, but none the less noteworthy, thing going on with us is that we are doing a lot of work in our yard. It is looking better and better as Hillary is weeding beds and raking, while I mow and trim back trees and bushes which have gotten a little out of control in the past few years. You'll see the picture of our new lawnmower, the "Task force 16' Reel Mower." It has quite an impressive title and actually works pretty well.

a mixture of the normal and tragic

This week was an interesting mix for Hillary and I. Hillary was studying a lot in preparation for her national counseling exam this Saturday, which she thinks went well. Sadly, we won't know the results for 6-8 weeks. There are different versions of the exam with different difficulty levels and different grading scales so it is hard to know how she did until we get the actual scores. By the end of the exam (about 4 hours) Hillary was pretty spent and asked me not to make her think any more that day. We celebrated her completion of the exam by having friends over and grilling out. It was the first time we've hung out on deck and it was a lot of fun. Neighbors and friends from church came over and it went really well.
The tragic part of this week occurred when two teenagers in West Hartford middle schools committed suicide. The boys, both 8th graders at different middle schools in this district, took their lives a day apart. A friend at church, who is a language teacher, had one of the boys in his class and was telling me about the diversity of reactions among the students: some girls who didn't even know him were falling apart emotionally, while others exhibited an almost morbid curiosity. He said that overall there was just a heaviness in the school. We were talking, wondering about how God might use this in the lives of students and families in the area.
I was able to see this mixed reaction to these suicides as I helped chaperon a middle school dance this Friday night. Some kids had pictures of the teens around their necks, while others had "R.I.P." or their friends' names written on their clothes. Some kids were visibly upset while others seemed unaffected. My guess is that for many of these students and their families they don't what to make of this tragedy and how to deal with the reality of this sort of loss. In all of this I see the need for Jesus' comforting love and strong hand.
Here is a link to a story run in the local paper concerning the suicides.

crashing down

It has been a while since we've written and last time I spoke of our faith based kitchen. Well, sadly yesterday it came to an end. There was this one shelf that was unsecured and as Hillary was cooking dinner it came crashing down and shattered some of the tiles on our radiator. Needless to say, Hillary was a little startled and for the rest of the day was a little jumpy. This week has been pretty full for us as we both get ready for tests. Hillary's is this Saturday and she is studying hard. At points she is anxious, but overall she is growing in her trust in Christ.

Here are three other things going on with us:

1. I got a cool video game when I traded some others in and it has been hard to exercise self-control and not play too much. Here are some cool pictures of what it looks like:

This may seem kinda silly, but it brings back some great memories of college.

2. I had a good time in Jackson, MS last week as I traveled to a conference there with Al (Sr. Pastor at our church). It was great to spend time with him and just have a shared experience outside of working together. The conference was focused on encouraging pastors in the use of the ordinary means of Grace. Basically, the idea is that God tells us a few simple things by which we receive his grace (through understanding the bible, taking the sacraments, and praying). We were encouraged to continue in our focus of these and to pursue living which accords with God's character of love and holiness. This may sound simple, and in some ways it is, but it was encouraging to be reminded of my task here in CT. There are all sorts of things I could do, but I need to stick to what God says and trust that he will work. It is actually very freeing.

3. It has been sunny and in the 60's here. I am wearing flip flops, cooking on the grill, and in an overally happy condition.

our faith based kitchen

We had a pleasant Easter - church in the morning and then went to Hillary's Aunt Janet's in Albany, NY for lunch. After that her Dad came back with us to CT for a few days. It has been fun having him here. We've done some home repairs, shopping, and various sorts of things. Dad was helping us work in the kitchen. We had a shelf which wasn't really supported well and could easily have toppled if anyone put weight on it and dad remarked that we're definitely running a faith based operation here, saying that's the only thing holding our shelf up. I then showed him 2 of our cabinets which we haven't finished yet. They have doors with handles but no hinges. If you set the doors in the cabinet just correctly they'll stay there and look normal but if you pull on the handle the door comes flying off. This happened to a friend and was quite a surprise! Once dad saw these he made was cracking up laughing about our faith based kitchen.

before and after

This is the kitchen when we first bought the house. Notice the knotty pine paneling and imagine this replicated on cabinates on the other walls. It felt like we were in the appalachian mountains or something. Now, check it out. We've redone all the wood paneling and cabinets, removed lots of shelving, and added some lovely yellow paint. This has been the project without end, but it was finally completed this Thursday - Huzzah! Below is a picture of the cabintes and stove. You'll notice the faux wood front to our dishwasher. Sadly, this stands out even more now that everything else is white. We might repaint it also, but we're not sure how it would work.
On a totally different train of thought, we went to the Opera this Tuesday night and it was a lot of fun. The singing and acting worked very well together and there was a lot comedy to the production. The venue was cool and we were in the third row on stage right. It was a good time and I didn't fall asleep.

people and the opera

Last week was a pretty good week of work. My weeks kinda fluctuate between being people oriented and task oriented. Last week was a good mix of both as I was able to connect with different folks over coffee or a meal, as well as move forward on some tasks. I've been getting together with a group of different women who are all experienced in working with children and it has been very helpful. They are full of great ideas and it is encouraging to work together versus working on my own. I also had some good meetings with a few different teenagers. I am getting to know them better and have had some cool opportunities to speak into their lives.

This Tuesday night Hillary and I are going to the opera. There was a special deal where we able to get good seats for pretty cheap. I've never been to an opera before and I'm curious to see what it is like. When were were talking to my parents, my mom was rather surprised that I was going to an opera. Her main points of reference are all those dance recitals of my sister in which I could barely sit still. It was quite a chore getting me there and she is curious how I ended up going to an opera. I'll let you know how it goes. I'm going to try and be well rested so that if it is somewhat dull I don't fall asleep - hahahah. You'll find the basic info at http://www.ctopera.org/

working through and waking up

Yesterday was a full day. I preached for the first time at Christ Community, here in West Hartford. Then I taught a class on Spiritual Gifts - the first part of a four part serries with the teens, adults, and older elementary kids. After church the teenage girls came over for lunch, which we normally do on the fourth Sunday. Everything came off really well and I am thankful for all of you out there who were praying for me this weekend.
Going into the sermon I wasn't that nervous, which was strange. As I preached I felt like I wasn't connecting and was concerned about going over my time limit. I got a little mixed up in my head at a point or two and felt somehwhat dissapointed coming out of the pulpit. But despite my kinda negative feelings or critique of it, God used the sermon in people's lives. People were very encouraging and I was thankful that God worked through me even though I had trouble connecting to it. It was an interesting experience and I am still thinking through it. If you are interested in listening to my sermon, click on this link and you'll arrive at the church website. It is at the top of the list.
The spiritual gifts class, also went well - except for some technological difficulties. My computer generally works well, except for when I'm trying to use it at some sort of public event. Despite my power point presentation freaking out for most of the class, it went really well. It was fun to have this wide range of ages there and to see people interacting and talking about how God has gifted them for his service.
The other thing on my mind happened as I was lying in bed this morning, slowly waking up. I was thinking how easy it is to try to earn God's favor. Regardless of how often I remind myself and others that God loves his people because of Christ, and not because of what we do - it is so easy to live otherwise. I want to know the freedom of simply being cherished because of what Christ has done.

fish, hats, and intimidation

Last Thursday Hillary and I had a fun time hanging out on Valentine's day doing various things. We went and got fish and chips at this fish market about 15 mins south of us and it was a lot of fun. According to their Web site they have a 5,000 gallon lobster holding tank. We saw the tank. It is full of big crates all of which have lobsters hanging out. You go up to the edge of a the tank, point at a lobster and the worker reaches in and pulls it out. The lobsters curl up, twitch their legs and give you menacing looks - it seems like they don't like to leave the water. The guy on the left is the guy who founded the company in 1930. I think he looks a little fishy - hahaha (bad puns run in my family).
After having lunch we hung out, went shopping, and at REI there was a big winter sale. I'm a fan of winter hats (I don't like cold ears) and most of their winter hats were 50% off! It was a very exciting time and I came away with 3 hats! This one on the right is my first step away from the traditional beanie/skull cap. It has a fun look and feel to it. Hillary says it reminds her of the UK.
The third big thing going on with me is that this coming Sunday I am preaching at church. It is a great opportunity, but I'm definately feeling intimidated. The passage I'm preaching on is from 1 Peter 5:5-11. I'm talking about life beneath the hand of God. I have a lot of different thoughts, but the challenge is to put them together into a cohesive whole. It is easy to get a little nervous and put off working on the sermon, but that only makes things worse. So, I'm off to work on the sermon now and I'll let you know how it works out. (just for fun - when I was getting the picture of this hat from REI.com, I saw a review for the hat which said, "Tip: don't wear with a tee-shirt, it looks funny." I'll have to keep that in mind.)

Rain, Rain Go Away

After somewhat spring weather last week, the temperature has taken a dive with some flurries and "snow showers." Since sometime last night or early this moringing we have had lots and lots of rain (1 to 2 inches potentially). So poor Jarrett has been shoveling slush today while getting drenched by the incessant downpour of rain. Besides the weather being a bit dreary these past few days we have enjoyed building relationship here in the greater Hartford area. In having dinner with our next door neighbors we had the opportunity to invite them to church to hear Jarrett preach (he will be preaching at Church on Sunday, February 23rd). We think they are really interested in coming...please pray that they would hear the gospel and they would be cut to the heart. We continue to be excited to see how God is working in our neighborhood.

Jarrett has had alot on his plate trying to learn quickly children's ministry while maintaining his other responsibliites. He loves the many things he is doing but trying to juggle while running a marathon is rather difficult to say the least! Hence, I (Hillary) have taken over the blog for this week. So he is on the learning curve trying to be wise and discen what is urgent and what is important and how long to spend on different things. Meanwhile I am trying to not fall into a cooking rut, learn to be content in the mundane and to be faithful in my studying for the counseling exam. I generally love my flexible schedule and am excited to see where God is leading me.

after school activities

So I've started to volunteer at the Elmwood Community Center. On Monday's I go there from 3~5:30 and help with the after school program for teenagers. Basically it is a place where teens can come and hang out after school. They have an open gymnasium, billiards, Xbox, and various other things. I've gone twice now and it has been good just getting to know different kids. I'll often play basketball and you can tell that I'm not a regular. Everyone else has high top basketball sneakers, snazy basketball shorts, and big baggy t-shirts. The first week I played in my jeans and sketchers, while this week I had indoor soccer sneakers and zip off camping shorts to play in. Trust me - I looked out of place. After playing basket ball (I was rather tired) there were some guys doing break dancing who were teaching others some of the basics. I learned one "stall" which is sort of what you see on this stamp. It is where you hold your body off the ground in a certain position. It is pretty difficult and my legs were waving around while I was doing it. It was a lot of fun and I'm hoping to build relationships with the different folks at the teen center.

a little work on the side...

I have been climbing a little bit at this rock gym in Manchester, CT(~20mins where we live). And I am going to be able to set routes there so I can climb for free. Basically I would be one of the different people putting holds on the walls so that it resembles climbing outside. This is something I was able to do a little bit of in St. Louis and it should be a great way to get connected to other folks at the gym.

ordination - not yet

So last weekend I went to Providence, RI for presbytery. Providence is a neat little city. I got to walk around a bit, hang out in a Starbucks and search for somewhat free parking. I had a short meeting with the leadership development committee Friday night and then stayed with a family from the Trinity Pres Providence. They have this cool building downtown that was converted to from an old factory. There is a sanctuary on the first floor. On the second there are classrooms, offices, and open space. The third floor will be condos. Saturday morning I preached a sermon before presbytery started and that portion went well. I was examined on the floor around 3:30 and was off to a good start but fumbled the ball (to use a football metaphor). On part of the theology exam (regarding tongues and prophecy) I talked to much, was unclear, and ended making it worse for myself. The presbytery arrested (stopped) the exam, deliberated (while I was outside the room), and decided that I should come back in April. They passed me on all the other points except for theology. I was somewhat surprised but knew this could happen. It was mainly ridding home that I got bummed out and discouraged. It was a tough experience but I can definately see God's hand in it. So basically between now and the next presbytery meeting in April, I'll be working through this one issue. Outside of a little extra studying, this won't affect my life too drastically over the next few montsh. Thanks to all of you who have prayed for me and encouraged me through this.

a New Nephew and other things

This is Blaize Clay Owen who was born on December 27th. This is our first nephew, born to Hillary's sister Lydia. Lydia delivered a few weeks late and he weighed nine or so pounds and was pretty long. (you can tell a guy is writing this due to the vague details)
Besides this bit of news life has been pretty uneventful. I am coming to an end of my ordination studying. I am generally prepared for this saturday and just need to work on my sermon a little more. It was a pretty full weekend ministry wise - having teens over on Friday night (only one ended up coming but we had a great time playing Settlers of Catan). Saturday morning was guys bible study then getting ready to teach the teens on Sunday morning. I'm beginning to settle into somewhat of a rhythm and it feels good. It worked out that I was able to go climbing and kayaking last week - it was great!

ordination status - positive neutral

It has been about three weeks since posting and the primary reason is that I've been in the wonderful (sort of) world of ordination testing. Thanks to the many you who have prayed for me as I've been taking the exams. I spent the week before Christmas taking the written exams and emailed those in on the 22nd then I the oral portion this past Saturday.

for those of you unfamiliar with the process, it goes like this:

-post seminary you get a call to serve at a church somewhere

-to become a minister the Presbytery (the pastors and elders from Presbyterian churches in that region) has to ordain you

-to be ordained you need a seminary degree, a completed internship, and a few other things (character refrences, theological papers, a sermon, stuff like that)

-there is a specific committee within the Presbytery that does the majority of the work in giving you a written and oral exam, and in evaluating both of these

-if you pass these exams (on bible, theology, sacraments, church history, and church government) the committe recomends you to the presbytyer

-you go before the presbytery and they'll ask you some questions touching on these areas, you'll take certain vows, and they will agree to ordain you

-then there will be an actual ordinatio service, usually at the church you are serving at

Overall, the process has gone pretty well. The leadership development committee, who oversees the process, was very encouraging regarding my written exams. I thought I had done well, but there were also things that I knew I had answered incorrectly or had mixed up some of the details. As I was preparing for the oral portion of the exam I was reading some theology stuff online and realized that I had potentially steped on theological landmine in how I answered one of the question. When the committee brought this up, but it was easily resolved, since I had done further reading and knew how to answer the question better. I passed my oral exams in all areas except theology and my sermon - there are slight things in both of these which I need to tweak. So what I'll do is go before the leadership development committee on the night before the presbytery meets and if everything is ironed out I'll be recommended to the presbytery the following day. So, the studying continues but has somewhat lessened. I hope this makes sense to the many who are unfamiliar with this process (I've been learning a lot of it as I go along).